What is this tragedy?

Why? Why am i giving up slowly? giving up slowly on our relationship? why whenever school happen to reopen and i see your face everytime, I start remembering of us. What we used to be. And when I caught you staring or just happen to look, my heart skips a beat or when you're near. I'd get excited. Why? 

Wednesday, June 27th 2012

I'm finally back, after a few months I was away. I was so busy with life till I didnt had the time to blog anymore, this blog had memories. School reopened last two days ago, 1 month of holiday seemed superbly short. & Once I'm back in school, here we go again. Seriously, I really want to know this feeling I have for wenwei. Is it love? Or just a crush? And for Michele too. He makes me really happy but.. when I am with him. The feeling isnt the same for when I am with wenwei though we don't talk anymore. I had a dream yesterday, A wonderful dream. A dream that he'd come back, and that he regretted and promised to change just for me. I woke up smiling away, He said a few more details but I forgot. He said all this while he had feelings for me though I was attached, but he just kept quiet. And that once he broke up w me, He still had feelings for me. To be honest, I want to be single again. I want to be free, Its nice to feel loved and all but It feels like I'm being lock up in a cage. Everything, I mean everything I have to tell my boyfriend, Or else he'd think that Im hiding something from him. And that when I tweeted something about wenwei, Michele feels insecure. Michele, He is a really nice guy. But to let him go for wenwei? Naw, Its not worth it I know. Therefore I want to be single, I want to have crushes on guys instead. Im always practically always busy with my studies, I dont think i'd have time for all this love fest. But Michele just doesnt understand, thats all. Ive been thinking really hard, and If this feeling continues more for wenwei and not michele, I know something is wrong. I wont get back to either of them, I just want to be single. Have time for my friends instead. This feeling. & Guess what? Almost Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday timetable I have to clash with his. Wonderful. I hope its a crush. Wouldnt it be a good idea? Once I leave pingyi for good, I confess to him? Like, Id tell him through text or something that I still never did move on when we broken up last 3 years ago? And who am i kidding. I even remembered his NRIC number, S9733301F. Oh god. *facepalm* This is a bad sign. I guess next year, I'd ask Michele for a break? I really really want to concentrate this time. Im sorry, Michele. You're really a nice guy, but if we're meant to be. It will be. I caught wenwei turning and just happen to look. Hehe. hais. What is this...