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Friday, 28 March 2014

Hello. Well, yeah. I'm back, after a month. These past few weeks has been really interesting for me lately. If you didn't know, I'm working at Changi Airport, T3 as an Aviation Security Officer (pt) while waiting for poly to start in a few more weeks. It's my first job, and I gotta admit. I actually like my job for a part timer. I always look forward to come to work, but Its so tiring.. to earn your own money. Its such a hassle. I made a lot of new friends, I'll name a few. Eric, Izahan, Evon, Ben, Sye ling, Wendy, Beryl, Boonsing and Xinyu. We're all freaking close during work, its amazing how we can actually stick together. Other than them, I've made... a few other colleague mates that happens to be in the same team as me. I don't know where to begin, currently at work right now. Guys are crushing all over me,are they blind? I'm only considered as average honestly, but i guess they don't see "average" girls like me working in this line. Surprisingly the guys i find cute, finds me cute too. YAY hahahaha. Anywhosies, I think i'm seeing someone. I'm not sure what are we exactly, but I think we're dating. Yes. Dating, but Im honestly not sure if he's serious about me. Well he says he is, his actions too. But I.. I don't feel certain. It's been so long since i've actually went out with a guy who likes me and vice versa, the last time was.. Michele. YES it has been that long. Eversince I had a serious relationship. And tbh, I feel like maybe.. this time it could be real. He's perfect everything about him is. Just one thing and this one thing always makes me doubt my decisions... his age. I'm not gonna reveal his age because he isnt the kind of person i'll date. But I mean  if you think about it in the future, it'll always be okay. But right now.. it's just weird for me to look at him not being to forget the fact that he's.... older. I don't mind.. but its doubting  my feelings towards him and I know i shouldn't even feel this way about it. I'm suppose to love(or like) him, regardless.
Another thing that is getting in the way is.. School. Poly life, Im just afraid that if i make the decision now.. I'll never know what would happen to my future. Maybe it's best if i wait and not let these emotions take over me like they always do. I'm stilll young, I can meet various kinds of people its whether or not I want to. But I choose not to as looking or finding for him means having to sacrifice your time/effort on him.. Im not sure if im ready for such commitments yet. 
What if maybe, I'm actually afraid to fall for someone again..?

Enough of that, Time to get down to the real shitz. Hahaha, Is it weird to be jealous if your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes another girl... whoa. When he told him he did, I.. could feel my heart sink.I'm not supposed to feel this way.. thats what I know. Its been so long since we last met, and everytime we try to talk.. we always end up fighting. Hence, I thought maybe we could give ourselves a break. I knew it would be different and that I would have to learn to adapt no matter what. But I still miss him. My bestfriend. I wanna be able to tell him about my day, annoying him like crazy etc.. those were the times. 
If i had the chance, I would relive that moment back again. 

ps; i miss jiahwee and izak so much, i need to make time for them.