Useless. Meaningless.
Thursday, 5 July 2012
Hi Hi. I feel, I feel like a total loser. Like nobody needs me, Like I'm freaking useless. I've been alone by myself these past few days. Ifaaf has problems that I do not want to interfere, Michele.. I dont know. I dont know what Im feeling, I dont want to end up like last time, I'd just let it go next year. I swear. Feeling soo.. Hais. Nevermind, No one would understand. Today? Today I had a really long day, But overall it was great. Everything actually, Especially After school. After free period, Shannon wanted to head to the prata shop. Im fine with it, So we were heading there, Shannon was behind, I went infront and Wenwei was there around the staffroom. He saw me, then they straight away went. I was thinking as always, Maybe he could went to the prata shop or probably Mac? I didnt know. Well I wanted to follow them, But I had to be patient and wait for the rest. So we head off, Was walking halfway, And I wanted to walk through following shannon and all, So yeah I went to the other door and bam! They were sitting infront there, Atfirst I saw no one. Till Amal gave me that pedo smile and looked at him. okay... Hes weird. Hahaa, Just acted cool. I swear I had goosebumps and my heart was beating damn fast. When I saw his face, Its like as though I just saw a freaking celebrity. Hahahahaha. So I just sat there and makan my food, The guy asked us to collect. He also asked wenwei to collect hes the mama gave me my prata, and I had to walk through so i was like " Excuse me! *cute voice*" But.. I didnt realize the dude beside me was Wenwei. LOL. He just looked I think, Sat down and makan. Before that, Wenwei was sitting directly infront of me where he could see my view super clearly, And after that, He changed his direction and sat beside Amal? Omg seriously? Cannot tahan my cute face uh? Then I remembered he told amirah "Easy, Just dont look at her for 2 weeks and I can move on". I walked out purposely in the same direction I went in, and then I headed off to school. Since I had environmental club I had to stay. He was walking in and I was too, He saw me heading to the canteen, He headed to the cricket pitch. I knew he had cricket between 330-530. I too, Had to clean the hydroponic so.. I had a clearer view though. He saw me walking, I dont know it looks as if he was looking into my direction but.... maybe not? Cause its like from far away. Like yknow observing, I mean maybe? Cause he too couldnt see where i was looking at before right.. So yeah cleaned the garden had super fun. Made friends with the juniors and all, Cricketers had to run round the tracks. So Akmal was running and I was like "go akmal!" And Farhan too. And then Wenwei was behind.. and I didnt. Was whispering though, omg he was smiling and looking so cute I think probably laughing while running, How attract. Second time he ran... And he ran pass.. ahhh. Adorable. I was just observing and looking at him, I wonder if he looks at me too.. Finished everything saw adnan wanted to walk w them but Im just too shy, So yeah. Wenwei saw me, He acted cool as always. Farhan was like " eh zahidah, never go w him ah?" HAHAHA. oh well. I should really stop fangirling over him.... really. Sucks. Hais. I dont understand myself, whenever i think about him, I'd think in a good perspective and that hes trying to tell me something, I never thought i'd be something bad. I bring hopes to myself I guess?
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