Dear diary,

May 15, Wednesday To be honest, I don't know where to begin. Everything's a mess, or maybe just me. I guess I'm being paranoid, but I don't think so because things that I don't wish to happen, happened. My girlfriends and I are drifting away and yknow what's the best part? Our excuses are 'busy schedules' or 'different plans'. I don't know, I don't blame them either. I gotta admit, I've not been much of a good friend to them lately. It's just that, I don't know what to say. Everything is just plain awkward shit, it's like M doesn't like the guy I'm with cause they used to be a thing well.. Not really a "thing" but best friends kinda thing but he/she is now close to my used to be close friend and..... Me and him aren't talking yup because of one incident, I don't know how to say it but things just happen and we stopped talking..? So I guess he/she is awkward with me cause maybe he/she is afraid tha...

Tuesday, 9th April 2013 Hey special someone, I know it has been only a month since we've sort-of known each other but thank you though for always trying to be there by my side, cheering me up with the lamest jokes and always making me smile. I'm sorry that i'm difficult to handle always so annoying, a bit- a bit also want to sad and get angry and sometimes (secretly) getting jealous, haha. but just so yknow I guess that's just me feeling insecure, I feel like i'm not good enough and i never will be? I will try my molto best to never give up on us, making our friendship stronger each day. And It's not that i don't trust you, i do i really do. I just.. well. I'm afraid. There are some days when i just get sad, I just think about life then i realize "hey i got you and my friends, i'm not alone" So don't doubt yourself okay?!  And just because of i have 1234567890 friends does not mean they're all my good friend or my true friend rig...

Friday, 5th April 2013 I've learnt a lot of things this year like for example, Have you ever felt that the people you are surrounded with.. well i don't know, lets say.. people you 'cant' trust? Everything's different now, even with my girlfriends. Everything. Everyone's falling apart, nothing is going to be same because no one bothers to make it right. It's hopeless really. I don't know, whenever i try and i want to be there for someone, anyone i just disappoint them further.. i can't seem to put the right words into place and i don't know i can't cheer anyone up. How pathetic, well only at times i can listen and give advices. Well, only to certain people i can tend to open up and share everything.. sucks huh? when the person you really wanna share your problems with is the one well.. not causing the problem but idk, i cant seem to share anything w one of my girlfriend whom i call a bestfriend. I guess its just a title? People assume ...