things better left unsaid.



Sunday, 26 January 2013
Hello, The last time I blogged was about a week ago? oh gosh, February's coming so soon. O'levels so soon, everything's happening in a split second. I'm suppose to be studying but whatever. So i was talking to a Amirah, Just now. It turns out P was hanging out with L, and I'm like as shocked as ever. And oh god the picture they posted, L did change a lot. I'm ashamed of myself for dating a guy like him, the fuck was i thinking? No, Not the looks. It doesn't matter if i were to date him now, and he looks like that but.. His attitude. Is this the part where i realize, He isn't the guy i want to be with..? Guess i didn't know the real side of him, He was just showing me the side i wanted to see, the side which impress me that actually made me feel guilty for sort of leaving him. When all this while, behind my back, when we were together he's already been doing all this shit and I didn't even know. Or is it because he feels different when he's with me? I don't know but I trusted him. & look at him now, drinking and clubbing and smoking... oh god i swear i am so.. disappointed and very ashamed. But who am i stop him from doing all these things? He even said to me he wants to be a better person, for himself but words are just words without actions. Y'know i even called him to ask about him that shows how much i actually give a fuck up until right now this moment. It's such a waste seeing a beautiful soul What's wrong with me.. ugh, I know. i'm confident that i've moved on for good for real, but why do i still think about him constantly everyday? Its like, he just have to find any way up to my head and brainwash me to be sad about it. So my girlfriends have their boyfriends, looks like i'm alone? I am happy for them really, but sometimes the things they do in front of me with their guys and the things they say about how much 'he' makes them happy makes me.. well sad, not for them but for me, I know they don't do it on purpose but well hellooooooooooooo, nobody has practically ever had time for me. I feel so.. Idk unimportant all of a sudden,  Atheerah has Fatimah, and Both of them have each other but like i'm right splat in the middle. Reasons why i'll usually have nothing much to say. Or maybe i'm just thinking too much. 

 Regret is unprofessional. 

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