Real friends.

                            

 

Friday, 10 January 2014

 

New year? New start? I dont think so, well thats not what i had planned in mind. As i was just about to say, things are going smoothly with my bestfriends. A new problem has arouse, so basically bestfriend told his mum about what he did yesterday which was hanging out with me. His mum suspects something about him and I don't think she likes it, and the only solution now is for us to stop talking. Completely. Well, in the mean time I hope. But since he's busy with his JC life, and soon I'll be busy with mine. I can safely say, this friendship will remain. I hope. A lot has happened during these past few months, God showed me the right way. The right path of choosing my friends, and now I've learned that no matter how long you've known a person or has been friends for a long and you thought it meant something? Maybe it just means that is its been a long time, and it certainly doesnt mean that they're a good friend. 48, P & M.. friendship we used to had, or what i think i used to have. Is all gone, everything is just plain awkward till the day one of them invited me to a buffet and things... slightly got better. But i'm pretty sure, i'll never want to get too attached to any of them ever again. Yes somethings happened in between, and up till today i don't know whats the main reason though, but for all i know. I'm done. like so done, putting in effort towards people who clearly doesn't notice it. Speaking about efforts, Remember the 'special' guy i blogged about in April? yeah the one who sends me home and crap, blablabla. He's... I don't know. I don't know what are we, what are we supposed to be. And i just realized, how much time and effort i put on in this guy. Who clearly doesn't give a shit about me because all he ever cares about is her.

 

Note to self; if a guy really knows what he's doing, he knows. & If he doesn't means, you're doomed.

 

After all these months of thinking and doubting, i've finally come to a conclusion that me and him? Can never click, and we can never be friends. So I decided to 'end' whatever we had. Whether it was friendship, or what-so-ever. Because that guy? He can't make up his mind, and he doesn't know what to do. Which also means, he's the clueless one right? or am i? Forget it. No grudges, forgive him but never returning that path again. Maybe he did appreciate the help i gave, but you can tell alot from a guys gestures. If he wants to do something about it, he fucking will. Without hesitation or doubts, he'll do it. I've read this book called "dateable" & I honestly think its a freaking good book. Made me stand up for something, and I've definitely learnt my lesson. Fml, every time i wanna change over a new leaf to be a better person or to actually take something seriously.. something else tells me otherwise. Oh well, what to do what to. Did I mention, I'm super glad to have only a few friends right now. The ones i can really count on no matter what. Jiahwee, Izak & Haseef. Yes them, they've been there. Anywhosies, in 3more days thats where i'll be. Yes, Olevels! Doomed or maybe not? Life is going to be different, but as long as i got my bestfriends. I know i'll be fine. I can safely say that 2013, may or may not have changed me into a stronger person, to finally realize who's been there and who isnt. Who's worth every time and money spent. I'm glad i found out who my true friends are, and its not about the quantity. but the quality of friends i have. & I gotta say, my friends are truly golden. Eh you guys who i've mention above, don't hao lian hor. Hahahaaha. Oh and i'm gonna make a promise to myself! That i won't date anyone in poly, or i don't know.... be in a relationship just yet. This i promise you. Time to get serious with school instead. (okay maybe just eye candies) hahahaha.

 

"its getting harder to believe in anything"