Dear diary,

' Because of you, I have trust issues. I don't trust any girl he looks at or even talks to. And I know I'm being over the top, but I can't help it. The trust issues go beyond that, I don't trust anyone with everything anymore, I don't trust myself not to get hurt. I don't trust anyone not to just leave without an explanation. I just have trust issues and I thought you'd like to know they're because of you. So congratulations, you've fucked up my life even now after I've moved on. ' Yes Wenwei. And its all because of you. Well not only you, Every other guy. God. And Michele, I dont know. I hope I can trust him. Hope he wont break my trust like all those fucktards. Oh well? Its been awhile since I last blogged. Guess because the only reason why i did was because of him ? What the fuck was I thinking? Hoping that one day he would read all this and come back? Lol. Fucking joke. But Guess what? I've moved on. I know ive been saying this fo...

After what naufal told me, i feel super bad. Knew it was my fault. To anyhow brain wash you, and to start assuming that shes not that into you. gosh zahidah. Bet hes in love with you because you were the one who has been there, when she isnt. And within that week, he took that opportunity to replace her with me. I came at the wrong time. She was really into him and He was really into her, and all the 'excuses' we think she made was actually true. & when i told him that i want them to be back together, i was actually serious about it. I ruin it. I feel like shit. ugh.

I feel like shit. Like literally. So pissed with myself. Now how can i fucking prove to you that i've moved on? Okay maybe i do still care, but I dont have that kinda feeling towards him anymore. ugh. I dont know i dont know i dont know. Forget it. You wont understand me anyways. Mixed feelings? I suppose? Even if i tell you how i feel, even if im sad about it and shit.. idk.. oh well. Sometimes i feel like im giving high hopes. but nahh, im not that kind of person anymore. Monday, 9th January 2012 HeyHi! Woke up today early in the morning, hmm. Wondered why he didnt text me. Oh well. Texted effie yesterday night, we both had some heart to heart conversations. And.. I swear i could feel her :/ Head to school, Sat alone. Read my book, This love story book iz awesum. Ifaaf came, and I was still there reading my book super engrossed. Potato texted asking if I could help him buy his school stuffs? Cause he was late? I was superb lazy to help him buy his stuff, cause the queue was long ...

Thian WenWei, WHY YOU NO TREAT ME NORMALLY?! Thursday, 5th January 2011 Heyhi! Got my goodmorning text from Michele. Hehe, yaay! Well, today? Uhm. We've known each other since June the 5th. Last year, so uhm. 7th month now? But we werent that close then. It was October then we became close? Surprisingly. Love my bestfriend! Never ending? Jom! So today, uhm. Was kinda interesting. Amaths? We thought free period. blahblahblah. Skip. After geography, i walked straight to Mother tongue thought it was the normal class and I thought he would be downstairs chinese class? Walk up only. I see him and 'bestfriend' together walking somemore heading to art. Im like O.O so uhm, He saw me. He hide inside the toilet. ahahahahha. He was talking to ms kee, my art teacher~I still wonder why he and him can still be friends. like hello?! share girl also can ah? Had art for the last period and oh I had a heart to heart conversation with Salman. So it goes something like this. If I remember a...

I have no idea why. Its like, this yknow. little bit of hope, But its weird how only when I see him. I only get those feelings back again, I tried to avoid from looking but I dont know why i cant resist it myself. ahh. Kill myself. See I told you, Im suppose to be over it. Maybe I am? Maybe Im not? I dont really know. Wednesday, 4th January 2012 HiHello! Second day of school? So uhm, Woke up early texted bestfriend. And head of to school, Bought nasi lemak and then met Ifaaf at the palm cove. It was coming to 8, and I dont know. I just had to turn, and look who walked pass. And Just nice super chim, He walked pass. Well he was from the gate, and Palm cove wasnt that far either. Ifaaf said He looked fat with his long pants. HAHAHA. Anyways, Sat down, table was super close to him cause got potato's gang and all. Why me face him?! hais. Then "bestfriend" came, I kinda stalked his twitter and so many emo posts. I wonder, who is it for. Sabrina? Maybe. Cause I know he's ...

Do you? Do you still love me? hmm. I always wonder. ahhhhh, I dont know what the shit im feeling. I guess, I should give other people a chance. Like Ifaaf said, I should give myself a break from him. I honestly dont know what i want sometimes. Tuesday, 3 January 2012 Heyhey! First day of school. wohooo! Well, im suppose to go to school with them.. But dad said he wanted to send me to school.. so why not? hehe. Reached school about 630? First person I saw? Akmal! Hahaha, He look super matrep with his long pants. And then Thila, gave her a big hug. omg, miss her. Went into the canteen, and sat with my lovelies 203. Uhm, Jianhao and Frans was there, then Weixiang and then Timothy and then Ravi then Izak. They look super weird with long pants, and Im already hyper. Hahaha, Asked Ravi about Yasmina and he's like "Im SOO OVER IT" like WHOA, guys. And he's like, "You?" And I changed subject. ahhh. I think about 655? He came. Thila told me to turn, and say look! And...