Trust issues? Idk.
' Because of you, I have trust issues. I don't trust any girl he looks at or even talks to. And I know I'm being over the top, but I can't help it. The trust issues go beyond that, I don't trust anyone with everything anymore, I don't trust myself not to get hurt. I don't trust anyone not to just leave without an explanation. I just have trust issues and I thought you'd like to know they're because of you. So congratulations, you've fucked up my life even now after I've moved on. ' Yes Wenwei. And its all because of you. Well not only you, Every other guy. God. And Michele, I dont know. I hope I can trust him. Hope he wont break my trust like all those fucktards. Oh well? Its been awhile since I last blogged. Guess because the only reason why i did was because of him? What the fuck was I thinking? Hoping that one day he would read all this and come back? Lol. Fucking joke. But Guess what? I've moved on. I know ive been saying this for a really long time but i mean it. Im in a relationship now. With my own bestfriend. No, not shaziq. Michele. & yknow what wenwei ? Just because I happen to look or stare or happen to care. It doesnt mean, Im still in love with you cause yknow why? I've grown up. I learn to forgive and forget. I heard you too are in love with ShiJiao. Congratz. I hope she can make you happy & Please stop giving her high hopes just by saying 'i love you' mean it douche. But honestly, I still do miss you. I promised myself that I wont ever repeat the same mistakes I did in the past. Im trying my best because I know i can. hais. Yknow sometimes, when Im with Michele i feel really insecure. To think that someone like him would actually love me back? Miracle? why the fuck do i always think that sazlynna is way and sooo much better than me? Sazlynna, looks like shes not over him. Fuck it. The memories they had together. Ours, its gonna be better. So so much better. And It wont be memories, it'll be never ending with you. Maybe im just jealous because she seems so much compatible then you and stuff like that. Thats why i've been wanting for them to get back together? well last time.. But I guess.. Hmm, im just afraid. Cause I remembered telling myself not to ever fall in love again. & I hope, I really do hope I didnt made the wrong choice to be with him. Ive been thinking too much lately. hais.
Michele and me got together on the 23rd Of January. Even though my feelings for him is not that strong as I had when i was with wenwei, Its going to be wayy much better. I just need time. To get use to this. Im just scared to get tooo attached with him and what happens if he leaves me? Im gonna be like last year? Fuck no. Im gonna be more conscious this time. I really pity him sometimes, Because I know he's not that kind of guy. Just that, Im just too scared. Oh well. The past few days was fun, I went to his place and met up with his mum. Well, she didnt really say anything though but It was.. scary. I enjoy every little moment I spent with him. Movies, Doing nothing, Countdown. Everything. He makes me feel so special. Thats why im afraid if i were to ever get attached to him, and then he leaves me just like that. I dont know what I'll do. Looks like even his friends know about us. I still dont get him, but why me? Looking at the girls he used to yknow.. had and all. They're like 10 ten times prettier or ten times better. & im like there. hmm. Did you know he place all his feelings in his notes? His iphone. super cute I tell you. hahaha, didnt know guys would do such things too eh?
& Today Ifaaf told me about Shaziq. He's exactly like me, we both say we dont care about each other. But I know deep down, we do. We both know its not suppose to end this way. But I had no regrets cause its his loss too. But what matters most now is Michele. He makes me happy. Im gonna leave my past behind. Besides... If its not meant to be then. why the fuck bother? :)
Comments
Post a Comment