Keep going.

I feel like shit. Like literally. So pissed with myself. Now how can i fucking prove to you that i've moved on? Okay maybe i do still care, but I dont have that kinda feeling towards him anymore. ugh. I dont know i dont know i dont know. Forget it. You wont understand me anyways. Mixed feelings? I suppose? Even if i tell you how i feel, even if im sad about it and shit.. idk.. oh well. Sometimes i feel like im giving high hopes. but nahh, im not that kind of person anymore.

Monday, 9th January 2012

HeyHi! Woke up today early in the morning, hmm. Wondered why he didnt text me. Oh well. Texted effie yesterday night, we both had some heart to heart conversations. And.. I swear i could feel her :/ Head to school, Sat alone. Read my book, This love story book iz awesum. Ifaaf came, and I was still there reading my book super engrossed. Potato texted asking if I could help him buy his school stuffs? Cause he was late? I was superb lazy to help him buy his stuff, cause the queue was long at the bookshop. Since Im nice enough I walked all the way, and Bought my stuff. After the girl gave me back my change im like "thank you" I turn to my left. & He appeared infront of me. But he wasnt close beside me, yknow there was a gap? I mean he could just have bought his stuff as pernormal but he didnt? Oh well, walked back to Ifaaf and She said I look like I kena possessed. hahahaha. walked up to assembly, sat down. wahhhhh, pfft. same row?! Think he saw me, and when during silent reading he turned to the other side talking to his other friend? And I was like "amirah, I always notice he always tends to do that" then Amirah was like, 'oh btw! I got to tell you something about Shaziq. He hates Jarett cause he two faced thats why now he's alone' No wonder. Shine, Mother tongue and then Recess. Biology, from far saw him walking. Oh fuck~ I kept on pulling amirah for english lesson but she instead to stay & Wait for "ifaaf" beside our class is potato's one anyways. ehehe. Headed to english lesson with Nellie and Monisha, oo miss teh's class. shit its his asdiafnafaa. Well didnt see him though but I looked inside to confirm. i look super.. tired. Time pass by~ And then saw 'bestfriend' He looked inside and I looked outside to see why so noisy. He saw me, I saw him. I looked away and Jeling~ CT went down. and aidhaioahsifahfjasfa his class beside mine, saw him ignore~ laallaala. After school had lunch, Was eating and Amirah was like "oi" I turned just nice, He hug yash?! eee smelly. Oh well. After POA, Ate with Amirah&Potato. They damn cute I swear, Its super sweet to always see them together. My role models. Eventhough potato forever perangai, amirah will still be there for him? aww. So I had a talk with amirah, well. She totally feels me, I told her about him and how I feel towards bestfriend, well my real bestfriend not 'bestfriend'. She told me, that even when she was with potato for the first time, she still has had feelings for yknowwho. And its like, It really takes alot of time for her to move on too. After potato told me that, Idk. Singapore poly confirm got other girls, and shit like that. and then I remember, theres me. Always alone. Oh well. I miss hanging out with Jiahwee and my girls, hmm. Gonna study hard, I swear. Dont wanna let myself or my parents down. Love? Lets just put it aside. Besides.. Guys arent really worth it during your teenage years.

Im sorry