bestf, sorry):

Today is a happy day! :)

Hii! Its been awhile since i blogged, had alot of bullcrap lately. yeah, alot.

Im not gonna talk about the past but let me give you a summary of it. well, hmm. I onced contact this guy he's A. We pretended that we are like 'together' hahaha. it was fun though those past few days, till... one day. I fell for his trap. I suddenly pretty much. Kinda like him. grrr, oh! and there's bestfriend, well i have kinda this bit feelings for him. grrrr. omg. im confused, oh! one more and theres HIM. yknow, that guy. you've always been hearing about. urgh, so theres like 3 of them. nooooooooooo, im no playgirl or what shit. but yknow, that mix feeling yeah that ): but nahh~ its okay, i've gotten over A. and bestfriend, well abit. HIM, somehow im still waiting :/

Tuesday, 29 march 2011.

Woke up at 545, hahaha. this and that like about 620, took the train. waited for the bus. wanna know something veryvery weird? I remembered ifaaf mentioning about she accidentally met A near the gate or something. I was thinking about that, super randomly wondering if i would ever clash with him. I got up the bus, I was looking straight. and then, BAM* omgggggg. A was there, infront of my face. sitting down, beside another guy. I was like, shit why do this thing always happen?! whenever i think about that exact someone it will somehow come true? urgh. So, I kinda looked at him, about a few seconds. I guess he caught me looking at him, so i turned away looking at some other places. He was fiddling with his phone listening to his music. Sent him a text, wah. didnt reply, grr. know what? after we didnt become 'fake' yknow. We RARELY talk, wait. I mean text, or else he use to put heart shapes or calling me dear and shit. ommmmmmmg): its damn sadded please. I got my hopes high for nothing, and i think he knows that i like him so whatever. that was USED to. and then now he fakefake in a r/s with that bignoseshittyahlian girl. arghh. me and my bestfriend, we were like ALMOST okay already, till he had to start a freaking fight. ^#(!&!(&#! nvm, maybe he wasnt meant to be in my life. like really, fucking sucks. We had assembly, so i walked up to the stairs with amirah and then i was looking around searching for HIM, omg. he was like sitting down and then i turned and looked at him, and he looked at me. like 6 seconds eye contact then i started smiling to myself like a freaking idiot. HAHAHAHHA. so first period i had was maths, me and ifaaf had the 'serious talk' omggg, u know what? i suddenly put my problems together and fixed it all up and guess what?! I realised, i was the one who broke HIS heart, yknow why? cause' it was me who asked for it at that point of time, he had no choice but then to let me go. cause i was determined too, and he wasnt unsure about my feelings then the second time he decided to let me go. and plus, NO WONDER HE DIDNT WANNA TALK TO ME -.- like he did to his other exs. and all this while, i thought its was his fault, but yeh. but then, if he does feel that way and he knew i still like him.. until now then.. why didnt he ask to be with me again? OH YA, he's afraid he would get hurt again. twice. oh i also found out the song that he posted, in facebook kinda links to our story. yknow the " never gonna leave this bed " maroon five? yeah, the first part is like," you've push me.. i dont have the strength to.. resist or control you.. you hurt me.. but do i deserve this?" that first part, i remembered i pushed him away. see! omg it all totally makes sense. yaaaaaaaaaaaaay. hahahhaah :) so maybe theres this high chance hes still not over me yet, but i remember amirah telling me this. "He got over me without looking at me for 2 weeks" but thats impossible, so you mean if he keeps continue looking at me for 2 weeks again he would fall in love with me back? hmm. yeah, confusing. but i wanna know so badly. hahahaa! recess and shit, amirah damn emo :( grr. sadded sia see her like that, but if i were to disturb her she would get mad so i might give her some alone time. Ishine, passed by his class. lalalala~ urgh. blablablah, finish school. i had to go back early, im so sorry amirah i really am ): shouldnt have leave you like that im sorry forgive me. )::: im guilty to the max. urgh. what kind of friend am i?! ))): . We met up with the BDS dudes and the CHIJ dudettes. Saw sharifah azarysha and nadia. so like, i talk to them. and headed back home with Idris in the end :) okay la byyyeee~