My whole world is crashing down against me.

Im trying too okay? I hate everything. I hate everyone. Gosh, I wanna drown myself in isolation now. One by one, problems like everywhere. I think alot, so much. I can feel as if my head could explode into tiny atoms. Now in life i know, You cant trust anyone. Even if it means, the one u once love. No one, Everyone of them is wearing a mask behind them, everyone. After losing my bestfriend, that shit hurts most. I mean, how could he. Oh wait. He didnt even take me as his bestfriend, thats how stupid i was thinking he and i were. I swear, he changed. He's ego, fuck it. I mean, Its worst than before. Thinking that he's ALWAYS right. Screw everything, After what i said in the message. A few days later i thought about it again, and i thought friendship was more important than my ego and pride and so, i decided to put it aside and apologise. Cause' he's all i ever wanted as a bestfriend. Despite if he changed, I will accept him for him as he would for me. Feelings change, People change. I wrote about 5messages long. And all he said was, "wow. so long" And from then on i knew, he didnt took it seriously. A few hours later he then said, " STFU and keep saying i've change and you think you know what i am/did. Think what you have done !! use youre brain if you got one !" and all i actually wanted to say was, " Really? after all the things i've said, this is what i got? Oh wait, remember that time while we were texting? and you would say," aww you know me so well " so now? I dont? Oh ya, cause you just changed the reason why i dont fcuking know you anymore. make sense now? I know what i did, I was wrong, and have you ever realise whenever we fought. IM the one whose always on a rescue JUST to save this "friendship" of ours which you think was useless. FUCK okay, just. die. really." and then i backspace it alll back, and i didnt reply. and so, I was at the airport yesterday with the sec five's, then a message was then sent to me saying," WTF SIA ZAHIDAH! stop spreading rumours that i didnt do the maths project can?" blahblahblah. I stared at it, and then whispered. "hypocrite". I mean, fuck. hey, u didnt do the work. Put yourself in my shoes, If i didnt helped you. wont YOU be going around too telling people all this? gosh, im just tired okay bitch. And furthermore, stop acting as if you like me when u dont. Its obvious, you're just jealous with my oh-so-perfect-life and you JUST wanna ruin mine. fuck no. im strong, im facing all this crap myself. bloody bullshit. Saw your text with your 'bestfriend' and everything to do with being 'jelly' LOL. really? really bitch? hahahaha, fuck off. 2 more years, ok. just deal with it. wait, not only that but, remember HIM? yeah him. Idk why, but i've been thinking about him. For no apparent reason, and that shit irritates me. One more shit that i gotta face, How would you feel if one of your so called girl 'bestfriend' said this," ee, why you like chinese guys ah? they damn disgusting. Never bathe, Never wash their toot, Eat pork. ee." and then, the next year... BAM. She likes a chinese dude, omgggggggggggggggggggggg. irritating or what, oh i ever once purposely said this," so, i thought you said chinese guys were disgusting?" and then she said, what? no? eh? i dont remember. after hearing her probs with the chinese guy she likes, im like HAHAHAHHAHAHHAA. bitch. Karma. what goes around comes around. Now u sound like some desperate girl, wanting him and crying over the shits he make. awww, what a pity. and u know whats worst? She makes him SOOoooOOoooo important that she forget 'us' as friends. urgh. kill me already, If i could. I would wanna transfer to the Japanese school nearby. for all i care, you guys could critise me and shit. but, haters gonna hate. so whatever. kbye.