Dear diary,

Happy 7monthsary to me! Well, being single. The day you dumped me, whoops. anyways, Yeah I swear, I thought i did. Really, Till I saw him online. And I have NO IDEA WHY MY HEART SKIPS A BEAT. shit zahidah, shit you. So much for moving on, SO much. Maybe I did, whenever I dont see him. But when I do, It comes back. He's going off to Beijing ): Like, Soon. I think, hahaha. Thats where I was off too last year, awww. I am so not enjoying my holidays, WHY? well, im not spending it with you bby. CHEH, step baby only. hahahahha. I've been dreaming too much lately, about you and I getting back together. Babe, NOT happening. I cant wait to graduate, I mean after that one year, I wont be seeing you. By the time, you and I will have someone new :) Like what WenJun say's. Secondary school lovelife sucks, big time. fuckyeh. Count down till my birthday! :) 7moredays.

dont you feel it? that feeling , when we both looked at each other even just for a few seconds. who am i kidding right? Cant believe I even fantasize about it. omg, atlast. yaay, finally. I can blog, sorry about that. Blogger, got some issues with me. Kanina. hahahaa, this past few days? I've not been blogging. Well, are all such toooooootz. Okay, whatever. Whenever I thought my life, is fucking perfect. Something, Just SOMETHING has to fuck'd it up. Whatthebitch. Apparently, Im no longer crushing on anyone anymore. I push people away, I guess. Its either that or, Im just not good enough for them. My life? Idontknow, I've been sad. disspointed, and I dont know. I guess its only pms. I miss texting fb, bestfriend and him. fuckmylife. ohgod. Like i said, people just come and go. one thing i realise about me? whenever someone new starts to come in, Its either i slowly push them away or, they left. Especially the guys i like, shit you 08. for not allowing me to move on, bitch...

-inserthearts- Pucking cute to the max. I miss them so fucking much, If only they knew. How much they actually mean to me. I was going through my picture files, and I found this. I had totally forgot about it, till I look back. and yeah, the most stupidest day. ohgod. fucking tears. hahhaa, I love them okay? so so much, aah. fuck pms. okay bye.

Now they say im wasting my time, cause you'll never comin' back. but they used to say the world was flat but how wrong was that now? So basically, Anything can happen, Well its whether or not you wanna wait for it. Something about us is still left hanging, But when will it continue? Fuck you lah zahidah, You're over it. Well, whatever it is. Apart of you, will always remain in me even if, I may deny, that Im really really over you . But I guess no matter what. That feelin' will still be the same. If only, you could understand. I was young and immature. wait, still am. But I finally realise, never and not to take advantage of love. I'll treasure it this time, for someone worth being with :) Wednesday, May 25 2011 Came to school, blahblahblah. School is really boring without you, not being here. Really, I swear. Apparently Meiying didnt come too, wah. You guys dating or what. Kidding. hehehe, Oh I came to school sat with Benjamin Obaje. Sneezed and shit, lool. omg...

likelike, Just now. omggg, Hall. During assembly, I turned and then it lasted for 30seconds. hahaha, then you turned away. Then same thing happen again, wooo. Smiled like some retarded idiot. okay, dah quiet. youre over it. Cant believe, when people bring up the topic about you and them, I tend to like. Kinda avoid it. Maybe thats how he feel, whenever people talk about me. hmm. Lately, people tend to leave me hanging suddenly, I mean. without warning, and they dont talk to me anymore. Ouch, People leave. ahh. Its like one by one. yknow what? I tried looking at your facebook page and, It wont appear, looks like my lappy knows Im not suppose to :) fuck laa, malay practise paper the date. 8 october 2010? wth. bestfriend, when will you ever come back? & put your ego aside? I'll put mine when you put yours. Tuesday, May 24 2011 hahaha, Hi! Woke up, late again. why? tired. Daddy sent me to school, and yeah. I sat with thila, He came suddenly. Nowadays he always come like, seven plu...

well, thats what most people would say, but idk. Just after art, I walked out of the room. The first person i saw? yeah, you. I think you looked up, and yeah you saw me too. wee. I think so uh. okay whatever zahidah. You know youre halfway gone, eventhough you still fucking look at him. URGH, zahidah stop it laaaaa. Nothing will happen k. can. fucking signs. wait, doesnt happen anymore :) I dont get myself, I still call bestf, 'bestfr' when he isnt anymore. Pretty much used to it. Amirah was like, " what if he comes back? " I didnt know how to answer to that, so i was like " No.. " I miss who he was used to be, not now. hah. Monday, 23 May 2011 Woke up, fucking scar on my face. Hurts, so like yeah. blahblahblah, Daddy sent to school, and erm. yeah, sat at the canteen, I have no idea why i was waiting for you. you came late, and yeah. The only reason why, I wanted to go to school was to see your face. wtfff, great. Mother tongue, I was walking, And I was tryi...

Tried texting him yesterday, I finally got the guts to. But my heart still skipped a beat, I meant. You know, the feeling after sending a dangerous text. Sadly, He didnt reply. But he did though, online. He sounded angry, and like lazy to talk to me type. ohhgod. hahaha. I talked to bestf too, what a weird conversation. urgh, He's making me confuse. You should not make a girl confuse with the messages youre trying to send her, urghh. Friday, May 20 2011 Hihello! woke up, and i got high, My dad uh. Coffee somemore -.- so like yeah, I laid down on ben's shoulder and he walked passed. And he looked, Ben was like," tryin' make him jealous huh?" I didnt say anything. Bestfriend was there, super awkward like shit. Assembly, Same thing happened -.- Same row, well not really. Adnan was disturbing me. I turned, and kinda-look at him :x I think he saw that, when eye meets eye. LOL. kwhatever. Lets skip to the last part, FNN. Zakiyah and me discovered something amazing, woww...