Dear diary,

nope, not yet but i hope it'll be soon. It's pathetic how you're trying real hard to forget me. Cause you can never really forget someone whom you truly loved. I should've seen the signs, I should've seen it coming. Well I did, but I chose not to believe it. Because I thought you're better than this. But I thought wrong.. Everyone always proves me otherwise. Sigh pie. Tuesday, 27 November 2012. Vhut a rainy tues-day. Past few weeks was.. sort of productive. Going to the library every tuesday and thursday.. feels like a daily routine for me. Hahahaha. Well definitely not alone, but with a goodfriend. winkwink* ahahahahhaa. That gundu. Past few weeks seems pretty fine to me, My days were great. Alhamdullilah. So I went to the IT fair, the other day on friday brought amirah along cause my dad asked me to go around and help him look for a laptop. So yeah, I went. Took the same train as Shaziq, He was working at John little. hahaha, how cute. Walked around...

Yup . Everyone. though they promised not to, but they did anyways. I'm nothing special so they left, it was that easy. Whats the point of asking them to stay anyways, If they wanted to. Life's different now. Better, not bitter. But I gotta admit, there are still those days when i feel so blue. He left, He found someone new, He replaced me, He's happy. & I am too. But I deserved it, I know. Nothing matters to me anymore. I've met some guys, one or two.. promise not to leave to always stay by my side and will wait. lol. I don't wanna lower my walls down again, I don't want to get myself hurt again. After the day, he left for good. I thought i was going to be.. sad/depressed/hurt, i thought id do crazy stupid things just to get him back. But.. no. I believe i'm stronger than before. Though he did affected me alot those past few weeks but, fuck. I'm never going to be that weak again, I'm not gonna lower my standards just because of him. Hell no...

Ahh this, yes this. Thats what you said. Stay friends. Bull shit. I want you, you to talk to me. You said you'd be fine w anything else.. right? I dont understand myself, whenever i think about him, I'd think in a good perspective and that hes trying to tell me something, I never thought i'd be something bad. I bring hopes to myself I guess? Thursday, 5 July 2012 Hi Hi. I feel, I feel like a total loser. Like nobody needs me, Like I'm freaking useless. I've been alone by myself these past few days. Ifaaf has problems that I do not want to interfere, Michele.. I dont know. I dont know what Im feeling, I dont want to end up like last time, I'd just let it go next year. I swear. Feeling soo.. Hais. Nevermind, No one would understand. Today? Today I had a really long day, But overall it was great. Everything actually, Especially After school. After free period, Shannon wanted to head to the prata shop. Im fine with it, So we were heading there, Shannon was behi...

In another life, Id make you stay.. So I don't have to say you were the one that got away. Tuesday, July 3rd 2012 Oh hey, Hi. Today? well obviously something happened the reason why I am here. So I was wondering, Have you ever wanted to change your fate? Like the things thats happening now, Is this what you wanted? Regretted any decisions you made? I know I did. I dont get myself, Wenwei has been very rude, Though we talk and we're friends but.. I dont know. I still.. I dont know, I'd hate him for a split second and then here I am again. Trying to get over him, especially in school. I always remind my myself, Its only a crush so I wont get high hopes when we happen to 'clash' or 'meet', I'd think its my coincidence huh? I cant help myself, Everytime I look at him or he happens to look at me, My heart just skips a beat. Or when I'm near him, I have this.. feeling. Indescribable feelings. Hais zahidah, you're total bullshit. Anyways back to w...

Why? Why am i giving up slowly? giving up slowly on our relationship? why whenever school happen to reopen and i see your face everytime, I start remembering of us. What we used to be. And when I caught you staring or just happen to look, my heart skips a beat or when you're near. I'd get excited. Why?  Wednesday, June 27th 2012 I'm finally back, after a few months I was away. I was so busy with life till I didnt had the time to blog anymore, this blog had memories. School reopened last two days ago, 1 month of holiday seemed superbly short. & Once I'm back in school, here we go again. Seriously, I really want to know this feeling I have for wenwei. Is it love? Or just a crush? And for Michele too. He makes me really happy but.. when I am with him. The feeling isnt the same for when I am with wenwei though we don't talk anymore. I had a dream yesterday, A wonderful dream. A dream that he'd come back, and that he regretted and promised to chang...

I hate myself. I swear. To think about the fact that i've moved on from him. I just cant. I'm still stuck here, and now its worst i guess. Because Im still with Michele. Its like, everytime I look at him, feelings.. real feelings comes back. And when Im with Michele. I dont know, I guess. Its a crush kinda feeling. This sucks, I dont know what im feeling at all. I know, this could be all of a sudden to suddenly have feelings for wenwei again but its not. Guess, I didnt truly let go of him. I just claimed as though I am, but I'm not. Still, no matter what. I wont give up on my relationship because of my doubts. Im just in the middle, I dont know what to do AT ALL. I wanna let go of michele, But i know it wont be worth it. But to think that him is all i ever think about is worst. Even Fatimah was like " See la this girl, Michele always think about her everyday and she thinks about wenwei instead " hais. I dont know what i feel, I dont understand myself either. Seri...

Hi Im back after 12345678 years. This blog, You must have realized why I stopped blogging right? This blog brings back memories, always give me high hopes. Thus I stopped, cause I've moved on. But who cares? Im gonna start blogging about this kind's of stupid things again. Alot of things, Idk. Haiya, like last time.Things happen. I sometimes i really wonder if they still do give a shit about me. Tomorrow is my 2nd monthsary with love. Yes, Michele Indemini. Hehe, I love him. oh oh! Its sports day too. hehe. Wednesday, Tuesday, Monday. 21/20/19 March 2012 Monday, First day of term 1! wheepee? Skip to after english, went down for Circle time want to walk pass miss evelyn ooi class but didnt managed too. dayum! hahaa, oh well. Wen wei's class was beside me. Before that teacher gave us instructions. Shes like, "since you guys got enrichment, place your bags in the classroom and Im gonna release you guys 2minutes earlier" Bell rang. All ran out, Well 302's class....