first day, of torture.

really, im done trying, but at the same time im waiting :/ eventhough i know it wont happen.

i swear, i fucking miss our texts and shit. goshh, i wished i didnt say any of those words.

and i kinda learn something.

in relationships, i cant be yourself. cause, every single time i do, idk. its just that somethings not right, for all i know. I'll show my true colours to the person i really thing i can last with :/

First day of school, great. I guess, awesome. woke up at like, 520am. bathe, tralalala wad shit. texted amirah, otw to the bus stop. Forgot the teddy i was suppose to give her, heh. So i ran all the way back just to give her birthday gift back, aww. so sweet right, hehehe. then blahblahblah, reached mrt platform. surprisingly saw akram andd .. Jarett -.-took the train lalalala, and yeah, got off at bedok. Saw zakiyah, hugged. omg, miss her so much la can, thennnnnnnnn decided to wait for the rest when really -.- i wanted to go school alone. got down the bus, and the annoying dm was like checking our stupid ankle socks and hair. wthh, then blahblahblah, YAYY. saw benjamin obaje, hugged* and the guys at the opposite table were like o-O apparently there was him too. the whole mf group were like staring, scary or wad. well, i didnt really looked at them, but i just took a glance :x heh. then blahblahblah, gawd. went up to hall, and guess who was right beside me but a few rows away. him. we were sitting exactly at the same row but there was another two dudes in the middle. at one point of time, we both stared into each others eyes, like literally for five seconds. I dont know, it keeps going on, i stole glances myself :/ I miss him so much, i swear. He's so different now, his voice is so much deeper and his hair, zomg. even ifaaf says, he's much cuter. hahaha, i promised myself to move on, but idk everytime we accidentally look into each others eyes, something in me asks me to say, its like. im gonna have a chance again. its so.. different now. and by that i mean everything, :////////// the way he holds my hand, kiss my lips. gahhhh! i even stared at his lips, for idk. minutes, good thing he doesnt look :x gosh zahidah, why cant u move on already. you were THAT close into moving on and some guyy have to ruin it, by guyy i meant you. my life is so fucked up, and his bloody english class is next to mine. ohh well, wad to do. and tomorrow, i gotta face school as usual. :-/ heartbreaks and heartaches.

btw, for those who dont know, i kinda deleted of my facebook. im bored with facebook, to contact me just ask for my number or something through msn. orr, just leave me a tag. :D or formspring me.