Dear diary,

Hey you! Remember this day? The day, we fought almost of the verge of breaking up. Remember? you selling the drink. Adnan and Johan approaching you. I remembered I cried, because of this fight. I cried infront of your face, a few metres or inches away. You looked really guilty then. Well, apparently the day of the Carnival last year was on the 30th. Everything that falls apart happens on this day itself. Ive move on, I stil do talk about it prolly still care but I dont love you anymore? Sad isnt it? No one is occupying the heart of mine. goodbye october. you mean alot to me than you'll ever know. Saturday, 29th October 2011 Woke up early, headed to school. Reached school, Walking with Izak finding for Miss Parvin. And Izak was like, "oi him" Im like where got? "on stage" We were walking around, called miss parvin. She waited for us at our booth. Our booth is under the games section. I helped miss parvin to and fro, I wanted to turn back. So I did, and Looks like

I wonder how would it be like for you guys to forget me that easily. Gonna miss you guys during the holidays. take care rights? Thursday, 27 October 2011 Early in the morning, woke up. And I thought I was late for school but I wasnt so took the train and got on the shuttle bus. Sat beside douglas omg stomach ache like crazy la can. I thought bestfriend would be there but he wasn't. So yeah reached canteen sat with zakiyah and akid. Walao they gossiping about me and wenwei. Oo. I didnt really care though about who was at the canteen, didn't even look out too. I guess because I was too busy talking to akid? Assembly in class. Today was a total drag, like seriously. I helped out with miss parvin over the carnival, while planning out suddenly Ifaaf came running towards me telling me that he was outside playing cricket with Ravi for quite some time. Wah just nice, my hand was dirty and I had ink all over it. And I wanted to see his face, but yeah temptations. So I didnt look. &

This pass few days, things have been happening to me but I dont really tell anyone or shit, prolly the fact i dont really blog that much either. I just dont get the feel to blog out anymore, shits. I mean whats the use? Its not like he remembers every single detail of me either. I dont get it, I guess my feelings really fade alot this few days its like I still care for him but I couldnt be bothered with what he wants who he likes and shits like that, cause love cant be forced right? Eventhough I still stutter infront of him or prolly get all nervous but the feeling. Its .. empty . I mean why wouldnt it be? Its coming to A year. Both of us are doing well in our studies without each other. Maybe its true, we needed a break from one another. Jiahwee! Remember the thing that whenever I think/say things it will happen? Well, Im not the only one in my family who has that. My sister too. And alot of shit, the things i think about like already predicted like that. And I'd have the strong s

That akward moment when your ex thinks that you've not moved on, and you think that he has not either but both of you are actually still caring for each other. Cause he said " i'd get jealous and cry cry cry" does that means.. he cares about how i feel? whoa. I saw this yesterday, And I dont know if Its a good thing or a bad thing. And hey, He was desperate for me. Couldnt he remember? Besides, I couldnt care less if he were to get attached or not, yeah probably i would be sad. But i guess, it doesnt affect me much as it does before. And why is this affecting him? Does that mean he still cares about what I feel? hmm? but both of us sure miss those feelings. Being able to hold hands, hugs, and the kiss. Do you remember boy, I was the one who gave you your first kiss~ ehem. so, if he misses all that, He misses me! cheh, bhb. I like the last part, how vivian said 'go back with your ex' see bro, nobody wants you. hahahaha. #sadlife. Friday, 14 October 2011 HiHi! w

oh yeah man, I wish. maybe the reason why you always look away after our eyes meet. hahahaha. Amin. God have been answering to my prayers :) Wednesday, 12 October 2011 Hellohello! Woke up at 6 and headed out by 7. Weixiang texted me asking me to go to school early, I mean why? haha. I didnt want to go to school early, therefore I took my time and headed to kembangan. In my heart, I know I wanted him to appear out from his house. And I keep thinking about it that it will happen. I reached kembangan MRT, and then walked straight to school yknow from his house. Coming near to his place, I didn't want to turn to the other side of the road or else I'd be facing his house. But I did turned abit and I could hear the gate sound and someone wearing blue. I knew it was him but I wasnt too confident you see so probably he did see me, probably he did not. I turned back once after walking near the ITE, I still see noone. So I thought it was just my imagination, walked pass Tropical got some

Happy Anniversary Thian Wenwei' :) Eventhough We didnt make it through, deep down I'm still here for you. Remember this date? On the 8th Of October you asked me for stead? Well, you didnt really ask me though. Its more of a question. "I wish exams ended today.." you said, and i looked into your eyes and asked, "why?" and you said, "so you and could yknow.. be", and then you looked away. Total silence, till I said, "lets forget about it." You looked at me and smiled, I smiled back inside the MRT heading back home after we made friends with Banjo. haha, the nigga. We took a picture and you place your hands on my shoulder. I remembered everything so vividly. I had a bet with Ifaaf to be single for 3months, after I broke up with Danish. Yes that, and then you stick with me through thick and thin just to wait for me. & and in that moment, I swear we were infinite. Im sorry I lied the fact that I didnt loved you, Im sorry I didnt take our r

I've been praying lately, I think god wanted to make me realise, He exists and I'm here for a purpose. Maybe the reason why my life has been blue, because I forgot about him. Gosh. & Day by day after I pray, thinks seem to get better for me. Im trying to repent for the better. I hope :) Friday, 7th October 2011 Hihi! One more day. Tomorrow I suppose? I hope he remembers. I love today, Life is getting alittle bit better for me. Amin. I've been loving school and still loving it despite everything. The times I spent with my girlfriends are the best, They cheered me up & I know they will always be there for me right? hehe. So.. Early in the morning, I reached school, not as early though. It was about 7:10? and He still has not come yet, why uh? I sat with Amirah and Potato laugh here and there. & I randomly turn to see if he's coming since bell is going to ring soon and apparently he suddenly came strolling in.. okay.. looked away, and potato was like, "yo

I was so happy reading the first one. Thinking that she won't like him and stuff like that. Till I read the second conversation..... 'I like other people ? got meh ? ' 'why would i break your heart ?' wah, so that means you do like him... wait love him.. & he loves you. yaay! lovelove. that should be me I even asked you by using Jiahwee's phone. Looks like you really do take her seriously. But once I asked about how the fuck you've moved on. You didnt seem to answer. fuckyou. I remembered asking him if he was ever going to be with her. He's like, "Idk?" take care, take reallll good care of him k vivian k. ah' Sajak ah korang. Satu Ahlian nak mampus, Lagi satu Ahbeng tak menjadi. Bagusbagus. Ever felt as if your heart literally sank? October, you suck. Fucking suck. Im just hoping you wont bring her to our school carnival on the 29th october itself. I'd die. Literally . Thursday, 6 October 2011 Reached school, Saw Amirah and

Wednesday, 5th October 2011 I hate boys. After they text, they like and then they confess. Next thing you know, they are just freaking gone like that. Fuck you Thian Wen Jun . You're a bloody false hope, And I swear I thought you wouldnt be like this. I thought you're different from your brother. Apparently you're not. You just hurt my closestfriend, I pray one day. You're gonna get hurt. Bitch. Baby, Cheer up alright? Dont give up, I mean Wen wei too is liking on someone else but that, that doesnt mean they could forget us right? One day, when the girl ditches them both. They'll know how we feel. Today? Is a fucking sad day k. I cried all night, After knowing that the girl you've been otp with was her. You never did... talk to any girls on the phone before you had me. Looks like you're using the method to attract me like how to attract her. & then i realise its not worth waiting for you. Early in the morning, tears freaking fell. Shit. Izak and Weixiang

omgg, If only he says this. But too bad, He's on his headstart to get Vivian. goddamnit, I should learn to appreciate more next time. Monday, October 3 2011 HappyBirthdayThianWenWei! I have no idea how many times I've mentioned that, but.. it was worth it. Rushed to the canteen early in the morning, blahblahblah. Ravi disturbed me about giving Wenwei love letter. What? So yeah, I asked Jun to help me. And He really did, Cause I forced him too. Im like, PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE. Then this Jiahwee there smiling and laughing to herself. tsktsk, But before that he already guess it was for his brother. So yeah, Sat down for Assembly. ooo, He's behind me. Then blahblahblah, Exams? I was screwed. I did the wrongly. Haish, Lets just pray it'd be okay. Haish. Nothing much though, After school. I took the Bus with Meiying and Meiting, I kena separated by them cause I had to move in. & guess what? Bestfriend was there. Thats not worst yet. I had to stand infront of his face because

HAPPY BIRTHDAY THIAN WEN WEI (: Its October the 3rd . And I hope you're enjoying the cookie I bought for you. Make your wish. Despite everything we've been through I swear you're the best boy I ever had. Im not even doubting on this, Its true. Its impossible for me to forget you, I tried. Tried moving on, Contacting with some other guys. But it's just not the same you see? & If you could only understand the only thing I want for us is to be just friends? By friends I mean, yknow the teasing the talking the yeah. All that. Im sorry I second guess you, Im sorry I played with your heart. Oh'come on. I was secondary one, What do you expect? Things to get serious? I mean, you forgave the rest except for me. Thats the only one thing I cannot seem to get over with. & you're there trying your best to get Vivian. Well I can see that for sure, You aint giving up despite how far she is. Okay I admit, Im jealous. So? Thats cause you're mine and only mine. I re