fate.
This pass few days, things have been happening to me but I dont really tell anyone or shit, prolly the fact i dont really blog that much either. I just dont get the feel to blog out anymore, shits. I mean whats the use? Its not like he remembers every single detail of me either. I dont get it, I guess my feelings really fade alot this few days its like I still care for him but I couldnt be bothered with what he wants who he likes and shits like that, cause love cant be forced right? Eventhough I still stutter infront of him or prolly get all nervous but the feeling. Its .. empty. I mean why wouldnt it be? Its coming to A year. Both of us are doing well in our studies without each other. Maybe its true, we needed a break from one another. Jiahwee! Remember the thing that whenever I think/say things it will happen? Well, Im not the only one in my family who has that. My sister too. And alot of shit, the things i think about like already predicted like that. And I'd have the strong sense of nervousness if I know that the things i say/think would appear. This is scary. Pass few days. coincidence? probably. But It comes too often. Its scary, only happens when Im alone. fuck? But amin, god help me :)
Oh and I made a promise to myself, No boyfriend/Girlfriend shit till I graduate even if He ever come back.
Friday, 21 October 2011
Today? uhm. okay so i couldnt get out of bed, mum asked me not to go to school actually. Till I remember I had to cause its a friday last day of school for this week, cannot miss any moment. I dreamt something so wonderful about bestfriend, maybe our friendship still stayed the same. So yeah, dad sent me to school. And I thought bestfriend wouldnt come to school, so I went to the canteen walked pass his table. He turned, Amal turned. Amal stare, He looked away. Then potato bastard me, He shout wenwei name damn loud, then I hit his teeth. Kena my hand omg, Adenan also. Then I bully Adenan, Took his bag and then I keep. He pull my hair... I screamed, That table looked. Oops. Pain whaaat. What to do. hehe. So yeah went up, I was still wondering if he did come to school or not. I look up I see the bag, and Im already like jumping excitedly cause he came. hehehe. Assembly, Hall. Headed to class, cher nagnagnag and then recess. Aww Bestfriend and Him are talking, so cute. Headed to the class, when walking pass the general office. He was there and his gang, talking to madam rubiah. Walked passed then I kpo so i looklook, then he also kpo, want see who walk pass. His face like decent like that look look at people, then he turned. He saw me, I saw him. I looked away, like step never see and as if nothing happened. Up near the corridors, drinking drink then I randomly turn back to look at the stairs. shit, its him again? So yeah just sat down and continued with the freaking drawing. Celebrate deepavali. Disturb Salman, LOL. Bell rang, headed out and went to the bus stop. I was just thinking about wenwei and he was outside the fence there as I spot him. Shit. Ifaaf and Amirah was like, where got? ooo, me eye so sharp. & Then I wondered where could shaziq be, Randomly turned and then he was behind me. urgh. Bus stop crowded, waited for bus squeezed in, I kena pushed till I was really directly at Shaziqs bag. Like that close, and then Shaziq infront was like, "wtf?" since the primary school people are like squeezing their way in. He went up, I did too, Sat down and then I scare hidayat off. LOL kissing Ifaaf, wonderful. Shaziq was like being damn rude, and then i took the mrt back home together with him again ehehe. He and me the cabin was like two away, sat down and he sat down, Like opposite each other but can see uh. caught him looking at me, I think he caught me looking at him too. Duadua like want to act like that. And then when he got off, he like walk around the pole and then like look uh. I purposely look somewhere else, then there was this reflection. It was translucent, I can see him like trying to look at me but he cant or else too obvious. But his not looking at me uh, Kept on turning behind. woo. I so stupid, looked wrong way. And all the way from outside, I guess his looking when he sat there. but Idk. Headed back home and changed. Was suppose to go with aliah, plans cancelled. & I got to know that Wenwei is going to WWW with the rest, so I was hoping i would bumb into him since Amirah and the rest are going to eat there. Then to think about it no chance, They are taking bus 17 from lerwei's place. Would pass by my house. Anyways, I went to downtown changed, after makan at BurgerKing which only Potato and Amirah ate. My head was still full of thoughts, thinking that I would bump into him for sure. Then I told them to go mac first, cause I want eat rice at the other shop. After sending them to mac, I go out I walk straight and I thought i saw wenwei! the 3 dudes, face like ahbeng same sia. Then im like, ohokay no. My heart was already beating veryvery fast, like can sense he there like that. and when i walked further, I saw .. LERWEI?! with his cap. He was near the yknow counter there? The whole gang, I turned. I saw Daniel, I was hoping he could see me. And He did. He was like, "oh shit!" then he smiled, And then I was like so shocked. Junmin also there! And I saw him I turned I looked at him once, he also looked at me, Like really obvious. And then second time I turned to see if he turned back, He turned again sia! twice. I counted. OMG LAA, his face shocked. wooo, then I panicked. after they went of to buy the tickets, I show Ifaaf where they were. Ifaaf was like, "OMG LERWEI HOT SIA with the black shirt FUH!" and im like, "ifaaf... black shirt not him.. its wenwei." She laughed and was like SHIT LOL. blahblahblah spend time there at 4plus, and In my head I wanted to wait for them. yknow the group. I estimated the time, I walked around already like what time. Then 515pm, Im at the bus stop cause I had to buy Ifaaf's birthday gift. I was thinking, If they never come out within 535pm, I chao first. cause I know thats the lastest when wenwei can get back home. So I waited, and think of an excuse incase if Daniel asked. 535... 4 buses came and like blocked the traffic lights and zebra crossing. Got one bus stuck there, and I stand up I turned OMG FIRST FACE IS THIANWENWEI. again, Im like sian. Suddenly my whole leg all fucking trembling like a leaf. Seriously! never felt nervous in my whole entire life. And there was the bus 6 infront I wanted to take then go already, then I wanted to take 17 but he havent take yet. I didnt know what bus he wanted to take. So i just board the bus 17, and then he also take. wth? Daniel asked me, and I was stuttering, I said I went to hang out with ifaaf all, shopping? WTH. stupid excuse. Get down the bus, quickly walk sia me. then when up took the train, he sat like a 2cabins away from me, get down at tampines. Daniel saw me, I saw him. He was sitting beside wenwei, and then Daniel waved at me, wenwei can see that he wanted to turn cause he like talktalk to daniel, like that. But Idk la. FUH what a day. Really. Its like all the things I want, its already been plan on my head. uhm, fate?
Oh did i mention, I accidentally called Shaziq cause I wanted to call Ifaaf then Shaziq was ontop my list so i click ah. then i never notice, then its him. I quickly cancel, I thought wont kena mah. Conversation went like this:
Him: WTF YOU WANT?
Me: Huh what thing?
Him: Why the hell you call me?
Me:Huh? I did?
Him: Yea.
Me:Oh sorry. not on purpose. Next time dont need scold me right.
Him: K
Me: fuck you. (was having pms)
Him: K
Me: Uh okay can
Him: K
Me: shuddup la -.-
Him: K
Me: goodgoodboy :)
Him: knn dog.
Me: Wah so vulgar I scared siol. Tsk influenced. Sad life.
Him: K
Me: Ok take care :)
Him: K
Me: Stop replying me, if u want this to stop fucking 'k' me.
Him: My problem uh.
Me: Step gangster uh ni?
Him: K
Me: OK YE YA OK.
Him: Just fcking shut up.
Me: Dont want not your dog. Ok
Him. Fuck off.
Me: lalalalalal ~ :)
deep down, I know he actually wants to talk to me. cheh bhb. but seriously, attitude like knn dog sia. Hate the NA students, think they so fucking pro. My ass shit la fuck.
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