really? after all this time?



after this whole freaking 5 months of depression, i finally realise i was the one who let him go. urgh, and then regretted it. after reading the other post that i send a few months ago, it looks like i held on for so long and im still not over him. whoa, thian wenwei. really, i have no idea why you are that special to me. anyways, well done! you're the first guy that i kinda wait for sooo long. lcmh not counted, cause he wasnt even attached with me. urghh, i wonder why im so patient just to wait for you wenwei. I've been telling myself to let it go and just fucking move on, i cant. I dont get what feelings i have for you either, I thought i was finally over you and shits like that, but i cant okay. seriously, i dont know who i longed for now. All this while, who am i really waiting for? its like, im holding on at the same time letting go. Wouldnt it be nice, if we were to really talk and have a conversation like last time? without being awkward about it. urgh, dream on zahidah. dream on. Talking to ifaaf about it last friday, kinda make sense now. I mean everything, all the story telling and combining our stories. what a twisted tale.

Monday, 4 April 2011.

wake up, reached shcool. i was kinda late though. hahahaa. so daddy must send me, yaay. hahaha, first period mother tongue. and then PE. I didnt take part in PE cause im sick. and still am, hahaha. Jia hwee in the end accompanied me, we were gossiping at the same time too. hahhaa, so yeah recess. and then english, miss parvin didnt come so me and jiahwee were like daydreaming. ahhaha, music. uhmm, okay uh. Art, i finish it. woo~ After school, decided to go to kembangan with Jiahwee and Meiying, thanks to amirah uhhh. she never come today, and then like so quiet. what the bitch ): went to kembangan walked pass his house, ate with them and then hang out. blahblahblah, went back to school. saw Jun, LOL. He fell down damn funny ^^ talked to him about something, and thennnnnnnnnnnnnn. oh, saw bestfriend while crossing the traffic light. Guess, he saw me. and then he looked and then walked away with his skater friends, ouch. It looks as if he didnt knew me at all. :/ I went back home straight. cause i was sick -.-" urgh, nothing exciting really happened today though. sadddd. k labye.

actually, you are one of the best things in my life, i mean it.

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