It hurts so bad, and if only you knew.

How many times uh zahidah? I mean, everytime you try to get things right. It just bloody wont go the same anymore. Im tired of trying, Im tired of being patient. Dont you know how much, this shit hurts me? If only what you saw what I could see, you'll understand why i want you so desperately. Well, Apparently to be my bestfriend again. You're the only person that can make me smile and laugh sincerely, well not only person but only boy who can. I miss having to be by your side. And yknow what? When I sat beside you during recess, I smell that smell of yours. Its superb cute and nice, Its been awhile since I scent it. Really. After recess, I swear during DNT I wanted to cry but I kept it cool. I dont know how long I could take this any longer, I'd probably give up now.

Monday, 22nd August 2011

So yeah early in the morning, train-ed to school. And so daily routine, said Hi to Ben and Stuff. The whole group, whenever I come in only. Salman group will stare, crap. So yeah, My babes came in. And we were writing a birthday card for Iffah. Me Ifaaf and Amirah chatting chatting uh, and then Im suddenly like, " OHMYG, BBY YOU OKAY?! " At the correct timing when Wenwei was walking pass. HAHAHA, then he turned and looked and then he looked away. As always uh, Ifaaf was like, " WAH, GOT SOMEONE SO BHB GO TURN FOR WHAT " but in malay ah, Very funny. Then Im like, " UH ! He miss me calling him baby ah, thats why he turn :P " hehehe, and stuffs like that. So went up to hall, Salman looked at me siol again. I meant when he was walking out the hall, I ask amirah help me see if he will look. And He did! I laughed and she laughed. So Im not wrong anyways, ahhaha. He's hair damn funny. Weird lah he, and then first period maths. This ahgirl, Gimme chocolate superb nice and cute! Mother tongue, okayyy lah. I kena scolded for holding hands with Ifaaf. HEHE. Recess, uhm. So yeah, I sat with Shaziq. yknow what? I started talking to him and stuff, but he didnt want to reply me. Yknow whats even awkward? When I went in to the cricket pitch. Wenwei was there, staring at me. I kinda freak out abit, Cause he was playing soccer and crap. And for the first time, I didnt turned to even look at him once. Well maybe I did. Abit. Something happen to me and shaziq, I dont know why. Bit everytime I see him, I wanna laugh. Like really, even if he makes the most serious face i could. cause when i look into his eyes, i mean. I remember the past. That few moment it lasted, phew. It was weird, but it felt so good. DNT, and then IH. Lastly english, This Jiahwee, super hyper just cause she got highest. Hao lian :P Then she got sing what song, so weird and then she laugh laugh to herself. After school, I didnt see wenwei at all. yaaay! I head back home, And I guess Shaziq was behind me. He saw me, so he went the other way trying to avoid me. Its kinda obvious. Bby accompanied me, super sweet cause she say she read my blog like emoemo. HAHAHA, aww. :) Maybe thats because she knows what it feels like. hmm? The bus came, and I took it. I saw him outside, I knew he didnt wanna take the bus together with me. So i head first, At the MRT I cant believe I tried to wait for him but to no luck. I guess he's gone with those other girls. Fuck it lah, I have no idea why but bestfriend have been lingering through my mind every single day and surprisingly its not him whose occupying it anymore. feelings fade, siol. But I guess he'll still be the guy whom I'll never be able to forget. So yeah, I went to dental appointment my dentist say, If I continue using rubberband thingy for the next 2 appointments, I can take out my braces already o.o So fast right?! hahahaha, I also cannot believe it. I ate at tong seng, and some uncle ask me in chinese when asking for my order. Weird, I got back home. Wanting to study and shit, but Im just to lazy and ended up here. HAHAHA, YKNOW WHAT? wenwei changed his profile picture to the one I like ^^ I meant, before he changed it I got ever liked it in his album. wooooo~ But why cant he take the others uh? :p Just wondering~ Looks like now he's flirting with some vivian girl, with freaking heartshapes eventhough he barely knows her. And further more, she's Lerwei's crush. wahh, Wait till lerwei knows what a freaking backstabber he is. #sadlife. I think he's just desperate, Luckily toa payoh far ^^. Wait, Im not suppose to be feeling hatred. Im not suppose to care. lol. Im hungry, okay lah bye!

I forget how it feels like to be in love