Fuck chances.
I know right, today like it was a naise day for me. But it seems alittle depressing, drama mama. I couldnt be bothered with him now, somehow. His attitude sucks, I hate the way he speaks. He's tone of language. Seriously, what a disgrace to the chinese society. Bloody rude. Its weird, how sometimes my life still has to do with either one of the idiots. Bestfriend and him. They just couldnt get out of my mind, for even a second. What the crap.
Friday, 12 August 2011
HiHi! Early in the morning, Woke up went to school. Took 222, Suddenly I saw Salman while I was waiting at Bedok inter, I was with Darren. He was looking at me all the way, then double deck. I sat inside first, and Darren sat beside me. Salman behind, Stare only. Then got off the bus, blahblahblah. Amirah and I had a conversation before that, It was about bestfriend.So it went like this.
Me : So yesterday, what you and alif do while waiting for me and Ifaaf wait for bus?
Amirah : OHOH! yknow what? Alif damn stupid sia. He like, Go to shaziq and say, "Amaciam kau ngan zahidah ?" translated "How's you and zahidah doing?"
Me : omg, serious? thenthenthen? what he say?
Amirah : He was reallu quiet at first and then he told me.
Me : whatttttttttttttttttttt?
Amirah : *forgot this part* then he said, Not all people deserve many chances.
Me : whatthefuck, he and him also talk about chances? bloody hell.
It was something like that, I wanted to tear up then im like, "forget it". Headed up to the hall, amirah bastard. I almost fell, cause I was looking at him from that side, I also dont know where he going. She laughed. I dont know what would have happen to me if I fell. Scary, haaha. People were gathering inside the hall, getting ready to sit. omg! He was so cute laah, He laughing laughing at something, then he's smile is like SUPER cute. The one make until eye super small, then smile with teeth like that, Its been awhile since I saw that smile. I look down, he was tieing his shoelace. hehehe, then smile till like that. He saw me looking, straight away like roll eyes then look away. wth? Madam rubiah came back! she's still so slim eh? Inside the hall, I wanted to talk to Salman then, I ask Jem to call him. He dont want talk to me o.o He jelly I think. About the darren. HAHA, he was still around there. Direct view, like cut across then can see. He turned while he was talking to his friend. Obviously, can see me right? then he smilesmile talk to his friend then turn back his head, face like >:| hahahaha. aint he always like that? blahblahblah, Had PE! first period, was like superb lost. The 213 in hall, walao. Our place leh): then I saw amal and lerwei go take the balls and sticks. HOTHOTHOT! PE, very slack. Never do anything, head up to english. Saw Jun, He was sitting then I wave my hand across his face. Wah, after he look at Jiahwee, he turn his head. Like someone super fimiliar eh? *winkwink* Bro like bro. aww. After english, uhm. Recess! Recess, Me and Ifaaf rolled on the field, DAMN FUN. then we danced in the middle, singsing song. So yeah, I had literature after that, While I was walking to my class, he Had mother tongue. And then, He and daniel was there. So they walk, he didnt notice me at first, then he walked up to his class. Got Wei Jian, He shouted from far, "Hey baby!" at me. LOL, and then he say, "Meet you up here baby!" hahahahhaa. He went to the toilet, cause I saw him walking straight, and when he came back. Wei jian was like, "she's my baby la! dont snatch!" very loud, he saw me and quickly head into class. Its kinda obvious cause he's face like super strict like that. Literature, after doing my work. I fell asleep all the way, power nap! It really worked. Had Ishine. And then go home. woo, so yeah. I went near to the canteen side, while amirah and Ifaaf went to the other side. Cause I saw him walking to the canteen, I wanted to see his face for the last time since.. its gonna be the weekend anyways. So yeah, Just in time. I was walking then, he rightt infront. Saw Meiying and Jiahwee, Bby wanted to stalk. But he's heading home anyways. So yeah, I headed to the other side of the bus stop, before that got patrick, he tried talking to me, but I couldnt be bothered.. so hoped on the double deck. And then the bus stop at our school there, I saw a bestfriend. I was looking at the window, smiling to myself. He had to look up, and he saw me. He's face was like :| and then he walked, I thought he wont board the bus. But he did. So yeah, I got of the bus. And then I head to the mrt, he was walking. Then he turned back, he saw me. I walked, straight acting it was a-okay. But deep down. I swear, this heart breaking moment, where I would use to say Hi, or yeah probably going back with him together. But we're both alone. I wanted to talk to him, but I have no guts too, I mean. A simple sorry, or probably a poke saying " Hi, I miss you, talk to me" I wanted to, really. But I just gotta be patient. So yeah, He was at the escalator, I was three-four steps behind him, I decided to just walk. I walked pass him, and didnt even look at him for one bit. My heart still pounding like a jackhammer, my knees were wobbling. I felt nervous all around him, cause I know. Its not suppose to end up like this. So i took deep breaths. and then I got through the gates of the mrt, he was beside me, But abit to the back. I take the escalotor up, He's turn now. He went to the side and went up manually. He's leg. He wasnt walking proper. It was really awkward. I got alot of things to say to him. But I know I cant, facing him up front. In my head, words are all trying to come out but my mouth is too heavy to say those things. I almost teared. But I didnt, He went all the way to the other side, I was near the lift, I was looking at him, nahh. He wasnt looking at me, I stared. But he didnt know i did. Train come, and yeah. I stopped at Tampines. while he was going down the escalator to Tampines, He saw me. I bet he wondered why, Im there. I took bus 3 to go back home and yeah, otw to the bus. wah. ); sad.
Should I do it? I typed out the words i want to say to him in my phone, Im planning to give it as a letter. But the thing is I dont know when.. anyone. Help? omg zahidah, pathetic seriously. I dont think it would work, but I just cant stand it anymore. Well, I'll just write it down first and place it in my bag. & then, maybe when the time is right. I'd give him the letter myself.
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