Dear diary,

Go with your woodgrove chicks. Two can play it the same game, I got my canberra dudes too. hahahahhahaa, omg zahidah. Dont get yourself started. You dont need to care about him, He's just an ignorant piece of shit who's desperate for girls that could make him steam. LOL. Its not worth crying for someone like you. Douche. Friday, 29 July 2011 OHFUCKYEAH, tomorrow 9month single babies! 3 more months till fucking one year. woo, *dances* Anyways, lets talk about today. So skip everything, I went into the canteen, walking like a boss. The whol group there, stare like nobody's business like that. Even Salman, So yeah. Talked to ben, and when I was hugging ben, I looked at him. He was looking, oops. Awkward, so I pretended to daydream at his direction. So, Assembled at the parade square, me and Amirah were talking about stuffs. And yeah, sat down settled in, turned to my left. YAY! not him. But Salman. hehehe, and then right infront of Jem its him. So clear my view from here, whe...

Yeah man, I mean everytime. When ravi talk to you about me, or stuff like that. You'd be like,"I dont care" But sometimes I wonder if you mean it, or you say it for the sake of it. Right now, I swear I hate this feeling. I mean, its like I care and I dont. I wanna know, but I dont. I wanna love you but I dont. Even when people talk to me about you sometimes, I'd resist myself from uhm feeling that way cause I know I dont. I dont have feelings for you anymore. Thursday, 28 July 2011 Woke up early in the morning today, I was kinda late. hehee, So I walked into school. And daily routine uh, As always. We assembled at the Parade Square today, me and Amirah damn paiseyh go hall. And Bestfriend did the same, I was like, " SEE AMIRAH, even bestfriend blurr like me :P " She was like ==" then, We both laughed. She went to cricket pitch and left me walking alone there. Oh with Danial and Amal. Danial damn cute, He was like. HI! then he wave. He so friendly, and ...

Always. The reason why, Im always smiling. Just because, I still talk about him doesnt mean Im not over it. Well I am, by that I meant. I dont feel anything when he's around. Wednesday, 27 July 2011 Hi! omg, 5 more days till fasting month? So fast. woo, Im gonna pray hard. And hope god grant my wish on that awesum suci month, amin. So early in the morning, I woke up late. Well, still early and I head to McD's at Pasir ris. So in my head while I was in the MRT. Im like, "should I stop at kembangan? but I lazy walk, and I dont wanna bump into him either" So I decided to stop at Bedok in the end. At the canteen, I sat with Meiying and Meiting. So I makan makan my hashbrown, then I talk like nobody's business like that. Then im like, "eh meiying, frog never come right?" she's like, "there~ he just walk pass" We made a burnbook after that, when Ifaaf came. So we went up the hall from the otherside cause Mr.ryan neo was there, hehehe. So go up. T...

Today's the day, that I could proudly say, Im finally over you. I deleted your pictures in my phone, I tear up your timetable, I avoid looking at you and even if I did purposely want to, I feel nothing . fuckyeah, Im superwoman. 25th July, noted. Oh, goodbye. Thian wenwei. I dont deserve this pain, neither the shit you've been treating me. Anyways, I really cant imagine someone having a crush on me, feeling the exact same way just like how I feel towards him. Ironic isnt it? Monday, 25 July 2011 Woke up early in the morning, I had the weirdest dream. hahaha, Nope. Nothing about you. Anyways, took the train to school and shit, Saw zakiyah early in the morning. She stopped at technopark. So reached the school, I came out from the bus I waited for Amirah since she was at the second deck. While I was walking, I saw a fimiliar bag, I turned to amirah. I grab her hand and was like, " OMG AMIRAH LOOK. lol okay nvm, so over it " Inside my heart *wtf? how the hell did he walk ...

One day, you're gonna wake up and find yourself missing me. After reading his messages in facebook, I guess he's reallyreally over me. I mean no feelings or anything, He had like two crushes? Weilin and Angel. What a flirt. hahaha, reminds me of me. I liking Cody and Michele. Whoa, two guys also o.O anyways, Ohyeah wait, he's single. And goodlooking who wont right? No uh, Not jealous or what. I mean, I feel guilty at the same time also, and I feel stupid. Like really stupid, thinking he still likes me or shit. But he doesnt. Its been 8months, zahidah. 8 months, I think i deserve someone better, Its not that I dont want to move on, its just that theres. No one? So im stuck here, with him -.- But nah, Everytime weekends. I'd somehow feel this way, Like Im really over him. I have no feelings for him, He's just a guy I met fall in love, got hurt and Idk. Its gonna stay that way. Im trying to cut down, talking about him. If people is gonna mention his name, or what so ev...

The princess and the frog. The gif seems legit eh? Once upon a time, there was a princess who lived farfar away from her unknown prince. She lived in Pasir Ris while he lived in Kembangan. The two came from two different worlds. He, came from a rich family while she was just an ordinary girl. Lets cut it short, They were both once in love with each other till one day it all came to an end. After a few months passed, being strangers. The year after when both of them turn 14, they happen to always clash in classes, assembly and sometimes it would just happen. Everytime when both of them walk pass each other, the princess and her unknown prince will do whatever it takes to avoid. The end. Thursday, 21 July 2011 Today morning, Woke up. Shit I was late, daddy sent me by car. And im not late. yaay. Zakiyah came back! woo, So yeah, blahblahblah. Assembly, wtf. Him again? shit. Yaay! Im so good at acting that, he didnt notice I even look at him. Amirah turned to me and asked, " why you a...

To the beautiful boy whose heart I broke in October, & I flashed back to when he said, " forever and always " The last one. No more. Lets just hope, you wont fall for another. Because you promised you'd never let go of me no matter what the situation is, because you love me. I hope you still keep that promise within you. & I hope it didnt changed one bit. Cause basically, Im doing the same too. I wont ever love another, unless one day I met someone else whose much better. But if he's still not the one, you'd be my only one. Yknow no matter what happens. I'd never forget you, you'd think it would be easy to but its not really, its not . You told me I would, but how could I if you gave me so much to remember that day. I might say, its his lose. But at the same time, I know its mine too. I miss talking to you 24/7 in texts, I miss your voice. The calls, the lame jokes, the fights, the stupidity we shared. hahaha, I remembered every single thing we h...

If only i could, explain how I really feel towards you. Trust me, I'd pour it out right in your fucking face. Get me? I hate how you're avoiding me, really. I mean, cant you just treat me the same like the rest of the other girls? as a friend, I tried when i talked to you but did you? Apparently no. What are you afraid of? Tell me. You promise.. you'd never do that. never . Looks like all promises come to an end eh? zahidah, kau jangan nak banyak prasaan. Die dah tak suke kau, buat hal tak suke jer. Buat bodoh, takpayah nak kesah pasal die. Monday, 18 July 2011 I'll skip to everything. Cause I forgot what happen when i was in school. So after school, we went to Kfc. omg, I started laughing at Jem's accent. Filipino. Oh god, cant tahan. So blahblahblah, walked in swimming complex, oh lookie here. He's there. In the pool. blahblahblah changed, went into the deep pool. I didnt know he was there, cause I couldnt see. So I just went in since Mr.wee say, Dont distu...

Everyday, Its like. Whether it is forced or not. I just have to. And I thought only girls make up nicknames for guys. Then now I kena, Zebra? BAIK. Nevermind, atleast he frog. Wait, he's ducky ): quackquack and Im kitty. remember Thian wen wei? Then always before school we'd walk together side by side, and then. we would pretend to go 'through' walls like we had super powers. And then you'd hug me from behind. fuckyou. Friday, 15 July 2011 Had school, Daily routine. Walked up the hall after bell rang, quickly sat down. Turned and bam, he's there. hahaha, Kinda used to it. But then, he's one row behind me this time. During assembly, I sat beside amirah. She teased me with Salman. grr, saying that he always look at me. Im like, " alamak, aku nak dia tengok pat aku, bukan dier -.- haish " Amirah laughed. whaat? Then madam rubiah, was like scolding syazwan. Both of us same row, kind of. He look up, I also. I mean, who wont want to kpo right? I think i...

From the last, to the middle to the first. blahblahblah, then alot lah he talk! I lazy to take picture. Yknow the part where he say about he dont care about relatioship? I said *relationshit right? He didnt reply yknow. till i ask him about salman. -.-

Why cant i stop myself from not looking at you? I mean, despite secretly or not. whenever you're there, as long as you're there. I just. have to. Thursday, 14 July 2011 HiHi! So today, woke up. blahblahblah, took the bus 222. While I was in it, looking outside the window. Thian Wenwei walked pass. hahaha, okay. Shocked. I daydreaming emo-ing then suddenly got his face. best. So walked in, and blahblahblah. Canteen sat down, and then went up to the hall. I turn turn turn with Ifaaf, then we sat down. I asked Jiahwee to sweet behind me, hehee. Since got Linrun behind me, Me dont want. He was 2 rows behind me, ahh. From my view can see so clearly, can see salman also. We had spot check, our class had to stand. Then, everyone look. Except for him, duh. Want to look at 203 for what? Well, duh. I looked at him. Fuck zahidah, fucking temptations. So walked out, I swear I have no idea why I was carrying the chinese newspaper. LOL. HAHAHAHA, stupid right? cause dont have malay one mah....

Apparently, im not in love with you. But with the memories we once shared. k. can. Wednesday, 13 July 2011 Woke up, bathed ate at PasirRis Mac. Alone, eateat. Walked to kembangan, since 222 confirm damn full. While I was walking, I saw malai. Uhm, & I knew he was waiting for wenjun. So I quickly walked away. hehee. So as I reached school, daily routine. Talked to ben, gave him a hug and such. So walked up to hall, Assembly. I was actually suppose to sit behind, then I move infront cause Jiahwee wanted to tell me something. Wenwei was infront at first, then madam wanis. Ask him and the rest to move, to let Tricia and Aisyah sit. Salman over there, dont want to move, I also dont know why. Then he like stuck there standing up, so loud " Cher! Salman dont want to move " Then he turn turn, Smilingsmiling. I was staring at him actually. And then omg, I caught his smile. And I think he saw me, so he quickly turned away. woo. He's smile like damn sincere, ohgod. okay I melts...

Im your coolest chick :P Tuesday, 12 July 2011 Today? was, naise. hahhaa, So I reached school early. I swear I did not have the mood to talk to anybody at all, I mean seriously. I saw Lucas Chia Man Hon in the MRT, Looking as cute as ever! He waved, I waved back. Duh. So Reached school, poked Mei ying then sat one corner alone. Ohmyg, Salman was there and he like looklook. Shit, So I took out my maths homework and started doing, why? Cause I figured that ben could help me out and stuff. Well, I saw him coming in about 7 plus. And yeah, I looked away. ohyeah, beat that! Continued doing my work, Salman distracted me. sheehs, So blahlahblah, Assembly. I wanted to sit infront cause, Later Ifaaf would leave me for duty. Then I sat with Caleb, wah he was like " ZAHIDAH, WALAO" So loud, Shaziq turned. Wenwei turned. Jarett turned & Patrick turned. Im like, shuddup laaa caleb. But In the end, I had to move back. -.- So blahblahblah, Literature boring. Mother tongue boring, Recess...

I told myself im over, it i AM I REALLY AM. But, why does it still hurts? Why does it still affects me? I mean, If I knew he likes someone else. I read meiying's blog and yeah, whose attention? I mean, who are you falling for now? & I know, Im not suppose to feel this way anymore. But why? why does it still hurts . I cant believe it, wenwei talks to all his exs except for me? what. Zakiyah, Suriani, Ruzana.. then me? Hello. I thought we were 'friends' maybe not yet huh? :/ Monday, 11 July 2011 Hiii, woke up and blahblahblah. Omg, so yeah. Had school, duh. Assembly and guess what?! We didnt sit at the same row, duh. I avoided. Like a boss, I can really see that salman wanted to see at the same row as me but Madam wanis like ask him to move back so the girls could sit. hahahahaha sucker. so lets skip everything okay? I mean, cause It was like really boring. And no, I avoided him all the way. three cheers for me. hip hip horaaaaaaaaaay. After school, last lesson was eng...

ps: Names here are changed. To code names xD Every single fucking day. Fucking wwt. ugh. My parents always say, " Kalau hati dah suka, Tak kisah pun benda benda yang lain " Correct siool. Okay so I'll blog about today. Happy 9th Monthsary baby. Hee, If we were still together, I swear I'd love you right. To bestf, Get well soon. Brusied waist. Swollen knees. Burnt Cheeks. I told you to take care right? You never listen. Sorry, But I cant 'uncare' you. :/ Friday, 8 July 2011 Hi! So I woke up and blahblahblah, train-ed to school. Took double deck bus, managed to squeeze. I went up with Alif, and yeah got Potato! I knew amirah was behind sitting with him, So I never kpo. Im such a goodfriend please. blahblahblah, They damn noisy. Got Hidayat! Lil bro, so cute. They bully him. Sad face. cheh, so we all walked to the canteen. And something funny happen, Alif was infront and his bag was behind. I wanted to grap his bag, but instead I grab his butt? HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA...

Oh hello there handsome. -insertsheartshape- hahahahaha, okay so. I went to school today, & Yes. I'll blog about today. Thursday, 7 July 2011 Hii! So I woke up, blahblahblah. With Mum and Dad, so yeah. Sent me by car, holding class tee. People all stare, walao so paisei. So I walked in, saw ravi. Handed over in a harsh manner and walked away, hehehe. So anyways, In the canteen. Hugged ben, and this Amirah she damn dumb. Never see me, She thought I never come. So yeah, Amirah told me something and then. I was like, eh wanna go at hidayat there? then, She agreed. So we had to walk pass, his table. Amirah and I walked pass, and then He stared. I looked, rolled eyes. I walk first, loolz. Then Amirah, was like dont know what, she say "bird flu"? Then after that blahblahblah, Ifaaf came and Amirah told me. He talked to them. He told them, he's starting to eat fruits? Cause he got lots of pimples already. loolz. He likes Pineapple, Honeydew, Watermelon. And some other ...

Remember all this? Sorry, I just had to. From this. To, uhm. Strangers. I wonder If he still knows the little details about me. I can't believe, I'm actually crying. I was going through facebook, yknow the once where you can click "see friendship"? I was going through all of it, well still 'liking' it. No not to get his attention or what so ever, But. I miss it, I miss every single one of it. & History wont ever repeat again. Thats what I hate. He use to care so much, so much. I feel like an total idiot. I miss this funny dude, whose always there. Always there, to cheer me up. And never fails too. I regret nothing, I mean. If thats his wish, to actually go 'separately' then, why not. How close we are? lets cancel everything, probably now its zero/10. How much I love you? Probably, remains the same. I feel super lucky, I mean after the whole break up with wenwei, you're like an angel probably sent to me, To make me smile to make me laugh to make...

I still remember, one of those times. When I cried, I have no Idea for what reason. You were there, you asked but I didnt tell you. And you scolded someone for actually, doing something to me. How protective, I forgot. But you were there. Would you still do that? If someone were to bully me again? :/ I remembered the last few words you said, that I would 'forget' you. Oh god, how i wish I could remember what you said. The only thing I remembered was ' :'/ ' when you said all those things.& wah, i thought now you finally had a girlfriend. Damn, Im almost happy about it till Jiahwee said its fake. booo. When someone is in your heart, they were never truly gone. They can come back to you even at unlikely times. Tuesday, July 5 2011 Hii, im at home. Sick and like really sick. Fever like fuck, Yesterday I dont know I got have a mind to text bestf. And then i know he doesnt even wanna talk to me. SOO, I might as well ignore. Today is tuesday right? OHH, Im suppose t...

I wonder, whats wrong now. :/ You saying that to me makes me, feel even more insecure about myself. Thanks . Saturday, 2 July 2011 HiHiHi, Today was so much fun. I didnt go madrasah today, I had environmental club. @Scape, cool right I know. So yeah, woke up. Facebook-ed for awhile through phone, Ate at home. Then head out to school, Halfway in the Train I clashed with I-zak. hahaa, then me him Ifaaf went to school together, I-zak happy ah, I belanje him drink. hehe. Went canteen, then sat down. Beside me, was Hidayat! His like a little brother to me, A very close friend of mine. Well whenever it was environmental club thingy. hahaa, so yeah. Took the shuttle bus to Scape. Hidayat was behind, all the way. Me, Ifaaf And Izak also sit la, I sat beside him. wah, he so annoying I tell you. He take my earpiece, then listen to one side. People want to emo also cannot then he say, " Eh I want to sleep, lend me your shoulder okay? " Im like, " err.. ehm okay? " But he didn...

Dear zahidah, get a grip. History wont repeat itself. Friday, 1 July 2011 Oh hello July! I swear, I thought its still June. loolz. Im fuckin' 8months single baby! ohyeah, like a boss. Still staying strong. So, Early in the morning wake up. Sister is going to L.A. fuck, I should have followed her for a week, It would've been dope. Anyways, Reached school. I saw him, ignores. Amirah came sat to the table next to him. Listened to music and shit, hahaha. Bestfriend walked pass amirah was like, " ohohohohohoh " And I was singing. Trying to not look* resisting. loolz. So yeah, Assembly. Saw Ifaaf hugged her, Amirah was like, " when you were hugging ifaaf, he tengok and then he roll his eyes. " riighhht. I was like, " ehh sit laa. Boys infront what " Then, I ask all to sit then i sat, cause I wanted to be with Amirah and Farhan. huhu, Turned to my left, Him again . the fuck bro. Blahblahblah, So boring. Had PE. So Madam Rukshana made an announcement to m...