you have no idea how it feels.


Yeah man, I mean everytime. When ravi talk to you about me, or stuff like that. You'd be like,"I dont care" But sometimes I wonder if you mean it, or you say it for the sake of it. Right now, I swear I hate this feeling. I mean, its like I care and I dont. I wanna know, but I dont. I wanna love you but I dont. Even when people talk to me about you sometimes, I'd resist myself from uhm feeling that way cause I know I dont. I dont have feelings for you anymore.

Thursday, 28 July 2011
Woke up early in the morning today, I was kinda late. hehee, So I walked into school. And daily routine uh, As always. We assembled at the Parade Square today, me and Amirah damn paiseyh go hall. And Bestfriend did the same, I was like, " SEE AMIRAH, even bestfriend blurr like me :P " She was like ==" then, We both laughed. She went to cricket pitch and left me walking alone there. Oh with Danial and Amal. Danial damn cute, He was like. HI! then he wave. He so friendly, and I wonder why.. Anyways, I got there, and then blahblahblah. He was standing behind, I actact with Adnan all the way, then asked them to sit first, cause Rukshana want the boys to sit infront. And So yeah, I sit. I turned my head again, wah jialat. Thian wenwei, same row. Aisyah infront, in my heart. *bitchbitch* hahahaha, They went for the check bag thingy. After that dismissed, I had to go up to mother tongue, So I went up from the stairs behind the stage there. So yeah, I was walking. I saw him from far, figured he was further away. He was from the other side, foyer. walkwalkwalk to DnT room, then our class had to stand up and go. Wah shit, I almost kena Jem. When I turn towards the stairs, I knew they were behind me so I didnt wanna turn my head around scared later they all stare. So Since adnan was beside me when I accidentally clash, I went to like "flirt" with him. LOL. I always do that with Adnan, hahahaha. Mother tongue, and Ifaaf saw Mahdi. She freaking danced after that -.-" So funny, She left me behind while dancing on the way. Malay class, texting sean. Damn boring, Seriously. So yeah, *riing* Bell rang, and so we went out. I was like, " IFAAF! walk slowly, cause If i walk at their class later they..." Ifaaf was like, "okay :D I also want to see mahdi." We walked superb slow. So while walking, to turn to go downstairs for IH. Yknow, near the Kitchen theres that stairs right. WAH FUCK, just in time. He was walking along the corridors from his lit classroom. He saw me walking down the stairs, he was staring from far all the time. So Salman and gang was behind him, And yknow. Wenwei would normally, walk with them to class right? But this time, I think after he saw me, He walked to the other staircase, near the water cooler there, so he didnt walk with salman and all. Duh, I mean. Who the fuck wants to face me right? I walked passed salman, He was like "sombong" then Jem purposely cough then he turned to face me and smiled. I smiled back. eeks! IH, Jiahwee was like telling me about He liking Joey at the same time liking me? LOL, so random lah she! Then dont know what, Go canteen. Recess. I so dumb, I walked to Jun and talked t him. Convo went like this.

Me : JUN! do yknow? do yknow? do yknow?
Jun : No I dont.
Me : That, ur bro-
Jun : I dont care about my bro.
Me : that ur bro has been texting jiahwee-
Jun : I dont care about my bro.
Me : about you?
Jun : I dont care about him.
Me : you're supposeto, he's ur bro -.- ANYWAYS. Did u block me off facebook?
Jun : err.. yeah, *cheeky smile*
Me : WHY?
Jun : Ur wallpost always spamspam.
Me : oh, block me then never block jiahwee uh *smiles*
Jun : ........... *bangs table* okayokay! fine! I block her also.
Me : kidding luh, but seriously. why uh?
Jun : eh i got to-
Me : ok bye!

so yeah after recess was PE, then walked to indoor sports hall. of course he was there. Ravi was like, Eh zahidah you watch. Later Salman, will purposely want to score goal and all for you. I gave him the look, so yeah, bell almost rung. So he took his bag, walking to the pavement there, I was there to the left that was to the right, and that day when i was at the right he looked away to his left today tebalik. But when he walked pass, I looked down pretending to open my food. He bastard go bully ravi and ifaaf. And then, while he was walking out. Ravi bastard, "CHEH WENWEI, CHEH weeweet" didnt look at his reaction cause I was looking down. Jem was smiling at me all the way damn cute, So yeah, Maths and then Science. After school, funny! Jun like look look at Ifaaf, thinking it was Jiahwee, He looked twice -.- cause I always with Jiahwee whut. then got in the bus, sat behind Jun. Jun talking about Miss parvin? o.O and then, Me and Ifaaf purposely talk about Jiahwee. then a freaking Care bear truck passed by and Jun turned back and was like.

Jun: DUDE! look! cute! *turn to ifaaf* Cute righht? *smilesmile*
* a minicooper drove pass*
Jun : THATS CUTE TOO!
Me : dope.
Ifaaf : yaya, Cute like me :D
Me and Ifaaf : *giggles*
Jun: haha! Okay.
*reached bedok inter*
Me : Jun, are u like angry at me or something?
Jun : no, why? O:

Then never get to finish talking. Then after that, Me and Ifaaf went to pasir ris. Makan Makan, We were damn bored. So we both decided to list out the guys we contacted/dated/love/who likes us/ and alot more uh. So Ifaaf had, 56 guys in total! From Primary 6 - Secondary 2. Guess how much was mine? 70 guys xD HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAA. From Primary 6 - Secondary 2. Omg, Alot sia. Then Ifaaf bastard she's like, Of all the 70 people. Why do you only stick to one.. or two.. or three? -points at his name, lucas and bestfriends- I was like, "NO" sheesh, then I laughed. She now know my witness ): then we were talking about the future and shit, How Jiahwee would be dating Jun. Meiying with Wenwei. I and Michele. Amirah and Potato. Zakiyah with Redzuan. She and Mahdi. then laughlaugh. DAMN FUNNY. She was so annoying, our different of crushes is like, 7. Then she bastard, she's like. NO 8. or 10. or... 8 :P If you guys understand. I laugh and laugh and laugh, omg. Then got something secret in the middle. hehehehhee, haish. fucking feelings, I dont understand myself sometimes. I dont know what I want either. gah! okay whatever, Im done.

its the little things that make me wanna stay

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