Dear diary,

My boyfriend! He's so.. goodlooking. Okay not hot. I like his hair. Reminds me of someone. not to be mention. LOL. seriously. but whatever. got over it, really really. My bestie still the best lah okay, Michele Indemini please? :) Friday, 23rd December 2011 HeyHi! HappyHappyday for me please. I swear. Met up with Bestie to buy his mom and brother christmas gift and Aliah. How nice :B Anyways, uhm met at somerset. oooo, I can spot him from here. hahaha, Aliah was like "seriously?! thats him? O:" Walked to HnM, we were like literally going round in circles. Trying to get th perfect gift for his mother. omg, I cannot uh. When I shop with a guy, and he knows what i like. Like so awkward like that, hahahaha. Got his mum a white Jacket. Nice eh, I like. I mean if his mum doesnt want it, I do! Plus its S :p hahahha, walked to Ion. Like all the way, passed by Takashimaya and We keep on asssuming what if Sazlynna was there? lol. wild imaginations~ Hungry as fuck. Headed to topsho

Wednesday, 21th December 2011 heyhey! went out with bestie, baby and naufal today was awesum. Hmm, met them at the promenade and uhmm. Lost naufal at first, who ask him to go up? selenge. hehe. anyways, me and jiahwee were talking about.. yeah the usuals. Turn around and I saw bestie. tsk, all red. hahaha, with his cap. alala. hahaha, walked all the way to the singapore flyer. what the f, almost kena hit my the car. They left me alone, gahhh. hahaha, uhm. Makan popeyes, cannot habis. uhmm ah. Jalan back to Marina Square wanted to bowl no place. Pool, omg kena bullied. I was forced too.. uhm ahhhhh. okay, played arcade with baby. lalalalallalaa, Truth or dare. stalked saz.. uhmm I guess we lepak for awhile and yeah. Balik, yknow why I dont wanna talk in detail? cause when I reread this post. I would remember what exactly happened. aww, okay. so sweet. ~ wheee. Its weird how day by day, when we get closer. Im starting to like you even more

Sunday, 18th December 2011 These pass few days. Im glad to say i've never been sad about anything. Well okay, maybe abit when.. Sabrina had to write on Shaziq's wall with heart shapes and "i'll always be there for you. text me" wtf. Oh no its okay. Im fine with it, looks like he's lonely now. In his face. hahahaa. I've been really really happy, Thank you. Yknow who you are. I know he's not the same like those idiots. I can feel it myself, Im glad that he's happy too. And wenwei? oh fuck him. Looks like he has no other girls left. Bullshit. Clap hands. ahhahaa. I dont wanna be like last time with all those guys. I just wanna stick to one. Only my bestfriend. I dont want anyone else, cause I guess my bestfriend is the only person who can make me happy. Eventhough we barely meet and shit, He's always been there. Tahan my attitude and shit. I just want someone who wont give up on me. Eventhough sometimes I feel down, trust me its not permanent ca

hehe, guess who? Wo de hao pen you. Hehe so cute :3 shh. dont tell him i said that. & like finally we got to hang out! It was really awkward at first but I break the ice. Lol as usual ~ so awesum. Friday, 9 December 2011 heyhoo. I couldnt sleep exactly on the 8th of december.. krik krik. Oh oh oh ya! It was... uhmm 1year 2months anniversary eh? If it were to last. okay whatever. Had plans on this day. Went out with bestfriend! yaaay! err no. Its not him anymore. aww sadly, he's been replaced. With someone wayway much special to me. Wonder how he feels.. hmm. Oh well. Woke up superb early lah seriously. 10plus and i had to bathe or else it would take forever for me to siap. Text puffy and head down to somerset. Guess who i bumped into? haha, Akram. So.. our conversation went like this. Me : eh! Hi. Where you going? Meeting up with Jarett? omg you've grown taller. Him : Oh no lah. meeting my primary school friends. No lah. so short. Me : then.. why tchoukball baju? no lah

Thursday, 1st December 2011 HeyHi. Omg. HappyBirthdayMummy. Anyways, this past few months has been real tough for me but I can manage it through. Well with some help of course. hehe. I guess, Im finally over those two idiots. Yay! But I wont be surprised if the feelings ever comes back though. Cant believe he's been mingling but no girl want him. bluek. Jiahwee just found out this, The girls he likes doesnt want him, but the girls he used to like all want him back. okay ew, I dont wanna be one of them. He went to korea, oh okay. dayum. And I cant believe he asked everyone else for their contact number except for me... wait no i dont care. Anyways, Shaziq. I saw his tweet. " I fucking miss you bestfriend :( " ooooo. wonder who's his new bestfriend. okay wait noooooooo. Im not suppose to give a fuck about any of this anymore. Cause, all I want now is to finally be happy and to finally move on.. well lets take it slow. I've been saying that for like 2730183012 times

Eh bestfriend! We used to be like that eh? You pushing me around, 'bullying' me. I 'bullying' you and you get pushed around. The stupid MRT games we used to play, and look at us now. Strangers. For good. Thursday, 3rd November 2011 Early in the morning, woke up. Head to polyclinic with parents for injection. Went to eat breakfast with them at Bedok South with parents then met up with Ifaaf at her place since it was near. Texted bby since shes wide awake. Met her up in school, Chit chat and shit. Till we saw salman, Hes a damn stalker. hehehe, Helped out with her letter. Salman was sitting on the bench like some bangla whistling to himself. Time strike twelve, bby damn kiasu and excited for the resulrs. Wee. We all got into 302! Me, Jiahwee, Ifaaf & Amirah. I got the subject combinations i want, so time to work hard. POA, Biology, Art, Geography. YAY! Amin. Checked his name, whoa. He's in 312, Smart ass. Bestf? couldnt find out till i got home, and he said 311.

Hey you! Remember this day? The day, we fought almost of the verge of breaking up. Remember? you selling the drink. Adnan and Johan approaching you. I remembered I cried, because of this fight. I cried infront of your face, a few metres or inches away. You looked really guilty then. Well, apparently the day of the Carnival last year was on the 30th. Everything that falls apart happens on this day itself. Ive move on, I stil do talk about it prolly still care but I dont love you anymore? Sad isnt it? No one is occupying the heart of mine. goodbye october. you mean alot to me than you'll ever know. Saturday, 29th October 2011 Woke up early, headed to school. Reached school, Walking with Izak finding for Miss Parvin. And Izak was like, "oi him" Im like where got? "on stage" We were walking around, called miss parvin. She waited for us at our booth. Our booth is under the games section. I helped miss parvin to and fro, I wanted to turn back. So I did, and Looks like

I wonder how would it be like for you guys to forget me that easily. Gonna miss you guys during the holidays. take care rights? Thursday, 27 October 2011 Early in the morning, woke up. And I thought I was late for school but I wasnt so took the train and got on the shuttle bus. Sat beside douglas omg stomach ache like crazy la can. I thought bestfriend would be there but he wasn't. So yeah reached canteen sat with zakiyah and akid. Walao they gossiping about me and wenwei. Oo. I didnt really care though about who was at the canteen, didn't even look out too. I guess because I was too busy talking to akid? Assembly in class. Today was a total drag, like seriously. I helped out with miss parvin over the carnival, while planning out suddenly Ifaaf came running towards me telling me that he was outside playing cricket with Ravi for quite some time. Wah just nice, my hand was dirty and I had ink all over it. And I wanted to see his face, but yeah temptations. So I didnt look. &

This pass few days, things have been happening to me but I dont really tell anyone or shit, prolly the fact i dont really blog that much either. I just dont get the feel to blog out anymore, shits. I mean whats the use? Its not like he remembers every single detail of me either. I dont get it, I guess my feelings really fade alot this few days its like I still care for him but I couldnt be bothered with what he wants who he likes and shits like that, cause love cant be forced right? Eventhough I still stutter infront of him or prolly get all nervous but the feeling. Its .. empty . I mean why wouldnt it be? Its coming to A year. Both of us are doing well in our studies without each other. Maybe its true, we needed a break from one another. Jiahwee! Remember the thing that whenever I think/say things it will happen? Well, Im not the only one in my family who has that. My sister too. And alot of shit, the things i think about like already predicted like that. And I'd have the strong s

That akward moment when your ex thinks that you've not moved on, and you think that he has not either but both of you are actually still caring for each other. Cause he said " i'd get jealous and cry cry cry" does that means.. he cares about how i feel? whoa. I saw this yesterday, And I dont know if Its a good thing or a bad thing. And hey, He was desperate for me. Couldnt he remember? Besides, I couldnt care less if he were to get attached or not, yeah probably i would be sad. But i guess, it doesnt affect me much as it does before. And why is this affecting him? Does that mean he still cares about what I feel? hmm? but both of us sure miss those feelings. Being able to hold hands, hugs, and the kiss. Do you remember boy, I was the one who gave you your first kiss~ ehem. so, if he misses all that, He misses me! cheh, bhb. I like the last part, how vivian said 'go back with your ex' see bro, nobody wants you. hahahaha. #sadlife. Friday, 14 October 2011 HiHi! w

oh yeah man, I wish. maybe the reason why you always look away after our eyes meet. hahahaha. Amin. God have been answering to my prayers :) Wednesday, 12 October 2011 Hellohello! Woke up at 6 and headed out by 7. Weixiang texted me asking me to go to school early, I mean why? haha. I didnt want to go to school early, therefore I took my time and headed to kembangan. In my heart, I know I wanted him to appear out from his house. And I keep thinking about it that it will happen. I reached kembangan MRT, and then walked straight to school yknow from his house. Coming near to his place, I didn't want to turn to the other side of the road or else I'd be facing his house. But I did turned abit and I could hear the gate sound and someone wearing blue. I knew it was him but I wasnt too confident you see so probably he did see me, probably he did not. I turned back once after walking near the ITE, I still see noone. So I thought it was just my imagination, walked pass Tropical got some

Happy Anniversary Thian Wenwei' :) Eventhough We didnt make it through, deep down I'm still here for you. Remember this date? On the 8th Of October you asked me for stead? Well, you didnt really ask me though. Its more of a question. "I wish exams ended today.." you said, and i looked into your eyes and asked, "why?" and you said, "so you and could yknow.. be", and then you looked away. Total silence, till I said, "lets forget about it." You looked at me and smiled, I smiled back inside the MRT heading back home after we made friends with Banjo. haha, the nigga. We took a picture and you place your hands on my shoulder. I remembered everything so vividly. I had a bet with Ifaaf to be single for 3months, after I broke up with Danish. Yes that, and then you stick with me through thick and thin just to wait for me. & and in that moment, I swear we were infinite. Im sorry I lied the fact that I didnt loved you, Im sorry I didnt take our r

I've been praying lately, I think god wanted to make me realise, He exists and I'm here for a purpose. Maybe the reason why my life has been blue, because I forgot about him. Gosh. & Day by day after I pray, thinks seem to get better for me. Im trying to repent for the better. I hope :) Friday, 7th October 2011 Hihi! One more day. Tomorrow I suppose? I hope he remembers. I love today, Life is getting alittle bit better for me. Amin. I've been loving school and still loving it despite everything. The times I spent with my girlfriends are the best, They cheered me up & I know they will always be there for me right? hehe. So.. Early in the morning, I reached school, not as early though. It was about 7:10? and He still has not come yet, why uh? I sat with Amirah and Potato laugh here and there. & I randomly turn to see if he's coming since bell is going to ring soon and apparently he suddenly came strolling in.. okay.. looked away, and potato was like, "yo

I was so happy reading the first one. Thinking that she won't like him and stuff like that. Till I read the second conversation..... 'I like other people ? got meh ? ' 'why would i break your heart ?' wah, so that means you do like him... wait love him.. & he loves you. yaay! lovelove. that should be me I even asked you by using Jiahwee's phone. Looks like you really do take her seriously. But once I asked about how the fuck you've moved on. You didnt seem to answer. fuckyou. I remembered asking him if he was ever going to be with her. He's like, "Idk?" take care, take reallll good care of him k vivian k. ah' Sajak ah korang. Satu Ahlian nak mampus, Lagi satu Ahbeng tak menjadi. Bagusbagus. Ever felt as if your heart literally sank? October, you suck. Fucking suck. Im just hoping you wont bring her to our school carnival on the 29th october itself. I'd die. Literally . Thursday, 6 October 2011 Reached school, Saw Amirah and

Wednesday, 5th October 2011 I hate boys. After they text, they like and then they confess. Next thing you know, they are just freaking gone like that. Fuck you Thian Wen Jun . You're a bloody false hope, And I swear I thought you wouldnt be like this. I thought you're different from your brother. Apparently you're not. You just hurt my closestfriend, I pray one day. You're gonna get hurt. Bitch. Baby, Cheer up alright? Dont give up, I mean Wen wei too is liking on someone else but that, that doesnt mean they could forget us right? One day, when the girl ditches them both. They'll know how we feel. Today? Is a fucking sad day k. I cried all night, After knowing that the girl you've been otp with was her. You never did... talk to any girls on the phone before you had me. Looks like you're using the method to attract me like how to attract her. & then i realise its not worth waiting for you. Early in the morning, tears freaking fell. Shit. Izak and Weixiang

omgg, If only he says this. But too bad, He's on his headstart to get Vivian. goddamnit, I should learn to appreciate more next time. Monday, October 3 2011 HappyBirthdayThianWenWei! I have no idea how many times I've mentioned that, but.. it was worth it. Rushed to the canteen early in the morning, blahblahblah. Ravi disturbed me about giving Wenwei love letter. What? So yeah, I asked Jun to help me. And He really did, Cause I forced him too. Im like, PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE. Then this Jiahwee there smiling and laughing to herself. tsktsk, But before that he already guess it was for his brother. So yeah, Sat down for Assembly. ooo, He's behind me. Then blahblahblah, Exams? I was screwed. I did the wrongly. Haish, Lets just pray it'd be okay. Haish. Nothing much though, After school. I took the Bus with Meiying and Meiting, I kena separated by them cause I had to move in. & guess what? Bestfriend was there. Thats not worst yet. I had to stand infront of his face because

HAPPY BIRTHDAY THIAN WEN WEI (: Its October the 3rd . And I hope you're enjoying the cookie I bought for you. Make your wish. Despite everything we've been through I swear you're the best boy I ever had. Im not even doubting on this, Its true. Its impossible for me to forget you, I tried. Tried moving on, Contacting with some other guys. But it's just not the same you see? & If you could only understand the only thing I want for us is to be just friends? By friends I mean, yknow the teasing the talking the yeah. All that. Im sorry I second guess you, Im sorry I played with your heart. Oh'come on. I was secondary one, What do you expect? Things to get serious? I mean, you forgave the rest except for me. Thats the only one thing I cannot seem to get over with. & you're there trying your best to get Vivian. Well I can see that for sure, You aint giving up despite how far she is. Okay I admit, Im jealous. So? Thats cause you're mine and only mine. I re

woooooooooootz, Bitches. Today? Right now on the 30th September, Im fucking 11months single. One more month till to a year bby! ehhee. But its kinda useless being single for 11months wishing he'd come back without doing anything. I cant believe its been this long, I've been holding on. Thian Wen Wei, please make it worth it. But I can finally say, Shaziq. He's out. Gone out. Out of my life for good, eventhough sometimes flashback happens. But whatever. Im not expecting anything from you on the 8th of october, I understand you got to study and I guess you dont love me either. Well not anymore. Your birthday is coming soon, Should I wish? Or not? hmm. k. Friday, 30th September 2011 No wonder today, things didnt turned out the way i planned, I forgot about the date. badluck uhh. Today? It was fine, nothing wow or exciting but a-okay for me. Yesterday? Shaziq appeared right infront of my face, I guess he got a heart attack or something once Jiahwee said Hi to him, He didnt seem

Jiahwee! Yknow what? I should have talked to him, when we walked pass him. & Say something, arghhhh~ Or maybe chase him back then kiss him on the lips eh? :P I bet then he'll realise. cheh Wednesday, 28 September 2011 HiHi! Early in the morning, I got the most uhm weirdest dream ever, Its been about you lately. And suddenly I was thinking about syazwani, she appeared? Like so cool. haha, Bought Old chang kee and reached bedok and I saw Salman. He was the first person I saw early in the morning. I came early, and studied. But I bet Im still going to fail my PAL test. He came strolling in at 8, took out his pencil box and started to study. His view was super directly in my face, I was trying to look at him but nothing blocked. God damnit. I caught him looking straight, but I dont know who was he staring at. Bell ring, they head off first. After PAL was Circle time, & Then recess. I swear I love recess! Me and Ifaaf bought makan, and then I saw him walking in, He was almost wa

I think theres a purpose behind me and Jiahwee being close to each other. Maybe only god knows whats ahead of us eh? Tuesday, 27 September 2011 HiHiHi! Today? well, it started out well in school. Woke up early, dad sent me. I reached school and sat with the 203 guys. I was sitting opposite Izak and then Weixiang came to sit beside me. We was superb close to me lahh, like step couple like that. Cheh. And then he left, but instead he came. I mean why cant Weixiang leave later? hehe. Bell rang, he was walking diagonally. I was walking across, so yeah. Across and Diagonally together, Amirah turned and was like "eh hi" and she laughed to herself cause he was still angry with her. Blahblahblah, Skip everything. All damn boring, till Assembly came. Meiying and Meiting walked passed, Then Dhashwiniy also. We disturb her with a dude, lol. Then Kee and Nadya was calling me, when I was talking to her. When I saw him doing a flying kick? Like so cool sia! Lerwei looked inside. hehe. Ke

If uh, if. He ever say that to me, Amin. Ohoh! I was listening to Adele - Someone like you & then I had flashbacks. I remembered crying outside the school bus stop, when my friends left me for their boyfriends or something like that. I was tearing, alone and waiting for the bus at that point of time. I wanted to be alone, so I asked my friends to leave first and stuff, The bus arrived and people left. I was still at the bus stop though, and then he walked to the bus stop after playing soccer. He saw me tearing and ask why. I just shook my head, 'nothing' I said. He sat beside me & then, he used his hands and wiped away those tears of mine. and one more! I remember walking back from trop, and it was raining, so you and I walked to the school bus stop together and I owed you a hug. I remembered. It was a surprise hug in the end, near the school gate at the bus stop. You were too shock that you barely move, and then we had our awkward moments when we just kept quiet. till

ahhhh, so fast~ october is coming! Exams are coming! 8th october is coming. 3oth october is coming! damndamndamn, It'd be our one year if we were still be together. haish, sadly we didnt make it. Hmm, I just hope something would happen eh? btw omgomgomgmg, I forgot to continue about yesterday. So yeah from the canteen part, Me and Ifaaf went to Potato yknow near the achieve got the table and the birds in cages. Yeah that. Then I want to see, If wenwei was there so I was trying to hide near the pillar. omg! reminds me of baby's bro. hehee, so cute. Ya la, I was like that. Very cute :P then right, I want to look, He's like looking at this direction already but I dont know if he sees me or not. I thought he did, so I paiseyh I run towards Ifaaf. Then Ifaaf say, 'Eh comecome! we see mahdi" then Im like, "okay can ah~" then yknow, Meiying's science class there? We walked there, then like looklook for people like that. So obvious. HAHAHA, then shes like &qu

See, now forever alone. I would want kiss you like that again can? Damn shiok. hehe. Your lips, super smooth, I swear it tasted like heaven. Uhm, The people who are not close to me taught I've moved on. Well isnt it swell? I hope he think i've moved on too. Wednesday, 21 September 2011 HiHi! woke up early, then I kena ditched by Jiahwee last minute cannot, go Mac then I saw Salman, wait! Correction! While I was walking there I saw salman. I think he called my name, I act act like never see. I had my breakfast with Frans, cause since he was alone and I was too might as well I join him right? So yeah, then I head to school met up with Jia Jia Jia Jia hwee~ Then I sat down canteen, Thian wenwei copying homework. I laughlaugh smile smile to Jiahwee, then I dont know he suddenly went to sit beside Junmin. That idiot meiying never come, I damn sad. Went to assembly at uhm ahh, ya PAL venue. Shit I lost him, okay nevermind. Skip everything~ Recess. He came out late, and just freaking